My blues comes from my own reaction at the doctors office when they didn't look at me and say, "ma'am we would like to recommend the surgery for you soon, within the next two weeks, from the looks of you, you desperately need it." I assumed that most pre-sleevers feel the same way because why else would we now turn for help in this way if it weren't for medical conditions, lack of mobility and having tried several diets that failed to help keep the weight off. Couldn't they see in my eyes the desperation other patients experienced when walking through their door? My subtle yet humble expression that I need them to feel my pain and the urgency of placing me at the top of their list? Couldn't they see my obesity and hear my knees crack while getting up from the waiting room chair, the anxiety of wanting to take off my shoes to weigh myself (as if that would help anything,) the difficulty of putting my shoes back on because I have a thick layer of abdominal girth to manuever around, my vague belabored breathing from walking from the car down the hallway and into the office and briefly sitting down just to be told quickly to 'follow me?'

My blues is simply my impatience in waiting for all the wheels to churn in the right direction, the inability to wait for the process to work its way out and to allow life to offer up its perfection that will eventually culminate to a new me. Yes, I pine for others to see my outward pain and hope that they will react, but in all honesty, I would rather be the success the doctors and I want to achieve and that may take Time.

I hope you other impatient pre-oppers will find this useful~