ready, set... go already, damnit

right now i feel like crying. i just read someones journal. wow. all new struggles that i had not thought about. i have read, looked at before and afters, received info... FOR A YEAR! i will be 44 in two days, 3/1. my finances are in order, thanks to that good old standby, Mr. 2nd mortgage. i feel good about it. the first step was setting up my seminar appointment on 3/2. i see it as my birthday present. i cant do this on my own anymore. the huffing and puffing with putting on nylons, or holding my breath while putting on my tennis shoes... ok, that has gone on for a while now. but... trouble with socks? underwear? arg!! not sure excatly how much i weigh... maybe 230ish. almost 100lbs since highschool. geez. :cry