Holey Moley! This Is Actually Working!

My goodness, gracious, it's been an insane three weeks. THREE WEEKS ALREADY! I feel so different already, my knees don't hurt nearly as badly when I go up stairs. My body feels lighter, and I find myself entertaining ideas about yoga!

I've been too busy to take care of myself the way I should. I should see to my nutrition a little more. It's hard to get in all my protein for the day, but I usually manage. My husband is taking a turn for the better since he came down with Legionnaire's disease last week. He's still coughing up blood, but his fevers are under control. I really hope this course of antibiotics manages to wipe it out.

Oh, and my mother in law is starting to show signs of dementia. It's been a rough week or so.

But I'm still on track, and on the way downward! Today, I found out that I've lost 39 pounds since I've been on this path to the new me! That includes 10 pounds pre-op. But that's almost 40 pounds!!! That's the weight of a small child!

I find it amazing that this is actually working. I mean, I know my stomach is tiny, and I know I don't eat a lot, but GEESH! Not even a month, just three weeks, and I lost 29 pounds after the surgery! Is that average? Above average? I think it's unbelievable!

I don't want the world to see me any differently than it did when I was morbidly obese--it's a preoccupation I have. I don't want people to treat me differently. I know they will, though, they already have been, some of them. It's very discouraging to know that I'm going to be on the positive end of a prejudice that once discriminated against me. It feels as if I'm changing races, or genders, or religions, or something equally important to my identity, and I don't know what to expect on the other side.

It's kind of scary! I've never known "normal". What will I hide behind when my fat suit is gone?

I might have to address some latent social anxiety I've been dealing with. It will be an interesting, maybe painful, process of self discovery. I don't know what is to come, but I know I'll be a healthier, stronger, less anxious person on the other end!