Day 13

I'm still fine! And I'm down 10 pounds!

Bad news? My appetite has come back. But I'm keeping it in check. It's been about 2 weeks since I've had anything sweet or starchy, and I am shocked to find that I'm not having any major cravings. Yes, when I watch tv and see food commercials, things look good, and I'd love to have them, but those are the only times! Once I start with those kinds of foods, I just can't stop, so I'm happy for now.

I am eating about 800 - 1,000 calories a day. I have protein shakes blended with a banana and yogurt, cream soups, and runny mashed potatoes. Something delicious I discovered from reading the boards on here is peanut butter mixed with greek yogurt - I don't even like peanut butter that much, but that combination is really good and really high in protein. So that is what I have for "dessert" sometimes because I'm getting a little sick of sugar free popsicles! One more week of this kind of diet and then I will start adding "soft" real foods - like scrambled eggs! Hooray!

I am still in a bit of pain, but it is more "sore" than "painful". All of my stitches look good and the little tape over them is still holding strong. I really want to feel around and see if I can feel my port, but I'm too scared! The idea that there is a little port inside of me where a needle can insert fluid is sooooo creepy to me, but I try not to think of it!

I go to the doctor's next week for a check-up, and I'm sure he'll say that everything is A-OK so far. One thing I don't want right now is a fill. I know that I am not one of those lucky people who never need one because I'm so hungry and have to eat every 3 hours or so. I don't want anyone touching my stomach right now, even the physician's assistant doing the fill, so I will wait as long as I can.

I went for a mile walk yesterday, which is the longest one since surgery. I totally thought I'd be tearing it up at the gym everyday by now, but I'm just not feeling it. My incisions hurt when my stomach moves, and I often hold my stomach when I move to lessen the pain. I might try walking on the treadmill today for 20 minutes or so at a slow pace. But I'm worried people will judge me for being at the gym for such a short amount of time. I wish I could say "Oh, eff what other people think!", which is the advice I would give someone who told me that, but I just can't!! I worry what people think of me. I just can't help it! Maybe I'll go to the gym during dinner time, which is a slow time (especially in summer). I really want to set up a routine of getting back to the gym, even if I do start at a snail's pace.

Hooray me .... I'm actually doing this!!