self image

even though i lost all the wait i still struggle with self image issues. In my mind i see my self as as Big even though my paints size is a 4/6 in my mind i wear an 18. I hold up cloths in the store and look at them and say no way and go back to the pluse sizes it a long i mean hour and hours long process for me to get cloths. The weather is warming up hear in Ma and i have no shorts So i had to get some i just could not belve i was this size i could even shop in the juiors and did get a juniors dress but it just so hard. I think alot of pepole do not understand how it a daily stugle for alot of us I look at my refection and I start hating my self i can tell you everything wrong about me .

I spend 90 % of my time thinking about food and feeling bad and that i need to extersize it off. but most pepole have no idea.That this is a strugle for me they think that the band sloved everything boom it all fixed in the real life no it not fixed. they have no idea how hard i work how meny hours i spend working at this.