Should I or Shouldn't I?

I am 90% sure I want to get the lap band, and 10% unsure. I'm certain that my story, my life, my decision is not unique - but it's mine. I am 33 years old, almost 34. I have been 50 pounds over weight for years and years. I have been over weight since the fourth grade. It's part of who I am. I hate it.

For over 20 years, not a day has gone by where I didn't have negative thoughts about my weight and my body. I love myself, I truly do. But I hate my extra weight. I am self conscious of my body. It prevents me from doing new things, meeting new people, and living my life. I walk into a store and start comparing myself to every female in the store. I obsess. This is my life and I effing hate it. I want out.

That is why I am 90% sure I want this.

I don't want scars. I don't want to be in pain. Most of all, I don't want this, getting the lap band, my last resort, to fail. Because this is it. If this doesn't work, then this is my life and I am petrified of failing and having to life the rest of my life in this body. That's the 10% why I'm still scared to get it.