She's Baaaaack!

I've been in a funk, and part of that funk involved laying low and not coming on here. That funk also involved a little bit of a tale-spin with my eating, trying the theory of eating whatever I want (within reason) just limiting portions, as other successful banders have done. Turns out, that plan doesn't work for me. But, I still didn't lose or gain.

I have officially hit a plateau, my weight hasn't changed in almost 2 months and it's causing me truck loads of anxiety. I became a Super Star at managing anxiety until a few weeks ago, and it all came back with a vengance. So I started seeing a counselor again, this morning, and feel like I'm working towards getting on track (I'm not a crazy person, I just get so nxious that I feel like I can't sit still and never let myself relax or sleep because there are things I HAVE to do).

We talked a little about my surgery and she asked me how I was handling the weight loss. I told her that I still had a ways to go, I still want to lose another 30 pounds and she really questioned me. She said that I don't strike her as overweight at all, and why would I want to lose more if I was fit. I quickly corrected her, I am far from fit, and I feel like my weight loss journey is just starting. We talked a little about the emotional attachment to weight loss, and how even though I've lost over 50 lbs I still don't see any difference in the mirror. She assured me that although it's very common, it is something I have to work at accepting. I certainly don't feel any smaller, the only thing I've noticed changing are the numbers on the scale and my clothing tags. I still look in the mirror and see a fat somach, flabby thighs, and huge arms. So apparently, this girl has some self-image work to do.