Adventures And Anxiety

Tonight my husband, Jason, and I are venturing out on a weekend road trip going from our place in Washington down to Florence, Oregon, to see my cousin then back up the coast making stops in a couple more places. While I am SO excited to get away, it has me a little anxious.

There aren't many healthy options when traveling, convenience stores and quick restaurants don't typically have high protein/low cal meals readily available! Plus, I weigh myself every day and have since starting my weight loss journey. I know there's tons of opinions on doing this, but for me it helps me stay accountable. Even though it's mostly water-weight fluctuations, it helps me tell which foods make me retain, etc.

I also haven't seen my cousin, Brandon, in about 3 years (when I was around 240 lbs). He doesn't know about my surgery, and I don't think I necessarily have to tell him (not that he would judge at all, it's just something I've kept kind of private). I get to meet his wife for the first time, and his 6 month old son. I'm so excited to see/meet them, Brandon and I were the very best of friends growing up. We've been through so much together...we both feel like we have that "twins" connection even though we're cousins - - but we do look very similar!

I'm also REALLY looking forward to a weekend away with my husband. He only gets 1 weekend off a month so spending some solo time with him is rare. We have a jacuzzi suite reserved at a hotel on the beach Saturday night. We need some serious R&R. We had the conversation again last night of "you're going to lose all this weight then find someone else". I know it's just his insecurities, and he doesn't bring this up often, but I feel like he's just waiting for the ball to drop. I'm not sure what I can do to assure him.

Most of my underlying anxiety is coming from being scared I won't make the best choices, and I go in to see my doc 1st thing Monday morning for a weight check and fill. I wanted SO bad to be down a full 10 lbs, and right now I'm down 13 from my last appointment in July. I don't want to ruin that by bad choices, but am afraid I will get caught up in the moment. I'll have to ask my husband to keep me grounded

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!!