Body Image, Or Lack Thereof

Okay, I have a horrible body image. I still look at the plus sized clothes when I need something new, WHen I shop online I am drawn to plus size thing. My t-shirts are still XX and above; my sweatpants I still by XL. I just can't see the new me. It doesn't make me eat more, I don't want to be that size again.....

.....yet, I can reconcile what I look like to the world to what I look like to me in the mirror. I have tried tucking shirts in; wearing tighter clothes, telling myself I look good - all to no avail. I just can't see it.

Now it's been 2 years... I don't have a better grasp on self-image than I did before. I will tell you though that I felt I looked pretty good before (until I saw the pics). Now I think I look BAD, even in pics.... lol

I am a hot mess