Losing Or Is It Winning

Okay, I am going to say it. The weight loss was relatively easy for me. I hate to say it because I've read about and know personally people that have struggles after their band. I lost 85 lbs within the first year with 3 fills.

Now that you hate me for saying it was easy let me explain WHY I think it was easier for me. WHen I was allowed mushy food I tried out all the yummy carbs that I was missing (rice, pastina, mashed taters). I couldn't tolerate the rice so I eliminated it from my life (not my family's but mine). I never minded making the husband and kids something and having something different myself.

I think that my losing was easy because I changed my mind set. I gave myself about a cup of food and convinced myself I was full. It has worked for me.

That being said, I still need to have a little sweet when I am done eating (a Dove Promise or 2) and I think the fact that through all my fills I have been able to eat popcorn has been my saving grace. I love popcorn!! It's a perfect snack for me.

I still have some food struggles - I still want to eat french fries and they really don't work with my band (maybe 2 or 3), but then I get a bit stuck.

If I eat too fast, or I talk when I am eating I tend to stick and vomit.

But I stand by my saying that my weight loss was easy. I barely exercised - bad I know - but it's the truth.

I love what my band has allowed me to do for me, but I think the mental part of seeing yourself different has been the hardest part for me - I still see a fat chick in the mirror (I'm between a size 8 and 10). I don't want to be a size 2, but when I look in the magazines at people who are my height and weigh 115/120 lbs I am convinced I am still as big as a house.

I think part of my blog is so I can get more of these negative feelings out there into the universe and maybe, just maybe I can see me the way others see me