Well yesterday was 1 month since my surgery! And my first fill was on Jan 4th--I got 4cc's.

I kind of panicked at first cause when I ate I didnt get that full feeling I thought I was supposed to. But Im measuring my food & sticking to the program. Ill just wait till my next visit in 6 weeks & see what happens.

Ive been doing my workouts (not weights yet)---treadmill & elliptical & working w/bands---I feel great! Im down 25 lbs since my pre-op diet started on turkey day. Just losing that 25 lbs has made me feel like a new person. My clothes are loose--even my shoes are!!

The only thing that has thrown me off is going back to work---I was able to be off almost a whole month--using vaca, holiday, sick & then my disability time (thank you God!)---so I go back to work & its like all my insecurities came flooding back!! I felt like my clothes werent loose enough--that I had gained back alot of the weight!! I just have to get over how I feel when Im at that place--and how my co-workers make me feel. 2 days back at work & I felt like this LARGE insignificant, invisible, useless person again. Hate that!!!

So, to go along w/my physical transformation, Im working on my emotional & mental too---I have such low self-esteem & low self-worth its crazy. To do that, Im forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone!! Im not sitting idle on the couch,watching tv for one. Im signing up for water aerobics & ready to try archery again!! All the things Ive wanted to do---Im doing them!! Archery, fencing, horseback riding----Im all in!!

This surgery is my ticket to places!! And Im taking over the workplace!! lol