Ready, but not ready at the same time

I am ready for my weight to decrease, but am I really ready to change my habits? For months now I have woke up many mornings saying this is the day I start new, and by lunch I am back into my old habits. What continues to draw me there? Comfort. Change is hard and part of me feels that it should be easier. I was blessed with the short and "fluffy" gene can't I get a break!? The reality is no. If I want things to change I have to change my thoughts and actions. Easier said then done, but doable.

Tomorrow I embark on part 2 of my weight-loss journey. I have not stuck to eating how I am supposed to for months. Since I was recently told that I am insulin resistant I know how I am supposed to eat, but I am choosing not to. There goes that free will pride kicking in. But now I am tired. Tired of waking up sluggish, not being able to paint my toes, and being winded doing basic things. I want my life back and I am upset at myself that I allowed myself to go back to this place( 10 pounds away from what I was when I had surgery). It is not a good place and I need to get a grip. My wake up call came when I saw this picture.

All I could say was WOW! I knew I gained weight, but seeing ourselves everyday doesn't always show us the full picture. Seeing the picture hurt me. It was what I needed. A reality check. Time to get back to business and use this band the way it is intended to be. Some people take things a day at a time, but I am starting small and taking it an hour at a time. When those feelings of loneliness, boredom, and anxiousness kick in I have to do something else other than eat. Food has been my comfort ad we have had a VERY long relationship, but it is time that we break up! Here's to a new beginning!