June 29,2011

I'm not sure how to write about my feelings today. I realized today that hubby is some of my problem. He is very supportive of my banding and my diet. And, bless him, he has lost 5 lbs since my surgery. So I guess my diet has changed his diet. He is still having hia fried pies and honey buns, just not as often. What I mean is that I think some of my inactivity is because of his inactivity. Take today for example. I thought he was going to go to a doctor's appointment and then to the bank. I had planned to go with him. Instead he said he didn't feel well, again, anfd had me reschedule his appointment. He makes me feel like I'd be a real heel if I left him alone. So instead I just went back to bed and went to sleep. The truth is that I really don't think he'd mind If I had somewhere to go. I'd just have to tell him all about it when I got back home. .You know, where I went, who I saw, what i did, what I said, what they said. I guess that's why I don't go. I don't want to play twenty questions when I get back. We live on his income and I feel like I have to ask him for money and things, even after 41 years. I know I should grow a pair but I can't seem to get past it. I know this blog seems to have nothing to do with banding but it does. Banding has made me more aware of my feelings and how they affect my eating (head hunger). And if I don't address my feelings, all the bands in the world will not help. The chat room helps too even if I don't talk much there. At least I am communicating with others. Tomorrow is another day. I think it will be better.