By Drake alp
· 471 views
I got my esphogram today with barium. Radiologist said there is no pouch above my band. He said it has slipped. He also said the band is not positioned the way the doctor wants it to be.
However, I had my surgery at another hospital so he wanted to compare my post-surgery placement to today's pictures. He also said that sometimes when the swelling goes down the band can move back where it's supposed to. I'm not a doc and my intuition isn't buying that.
Called my doc's office. Advice is there is nothing I can do so do not get worked up about it. The doc will call me Monday. Maybe the radiologist isn't seeing it correctly.
I am really really sad. I am down to 198# and can fit into size 16. I don't have to go to the 'fat store' to buy really ugly clothes that I have come to hate the past 8 years. I joined a gym, was feeling positive, getting out again, and all my relationships are better. I felt like I had my life back.
I don't want to go back to being 240 or my highest of 266. My goal is 140. I am only 58# away. I am under the 200's, which is when I felt my weight got out of control.
I have been so good and so disciplined. I am tempted to go watch Lifetime, throw a pity party and cry Why me? I hear and read so much that people get away with and I wasn't even trying to test it.
I would appreciate prayers. I don't know what is next. I'm generally a happy optimistic person but I'm in a dark place.
Thanks for listening. Let it be used for good for someone.
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