6-11-2010

I haven't written anything in almost a year. I have just given up until a month ago. My knees are so bad that I can't hardly stand it. The doctors tell me that knee replaces probably won't get rid of the pain. They said its my weight. Not sure I believe that completely, but I have to do something. I have had a great 2 weeks, but and you all know there is always a but. I had family in 2 different days this week. Now I have all this left over food. I really want to eat it. I also know I can't eat it and it is such a struggle. I promissed myself that I would not weigh as much next year on my 60th birthday. So I have to not eat this food, but it is calling my name. I hate the struggle. I'm 59 years old and you would think that by now I would have this thing under control. Feel like a failure. Hope I make it through the night.