Current Mood: Very Frustrated :thumbup:

So last week I went back for the check up and everything was looking good so they told me to eat solid food for a week and come back for a fill today. Yesterday morning I ate two slices of apple with my breakfast and it did me in. I had a feeling indigestion for the whole day and decided to have soup for dinner and drink as much fluid as I could to "loosen up."

This morning, I could feel some pressure in the same place but it seemed to dissipate a little after a coffee. Breakfast went down fine - 2 scrambled eggs - but after I ate lunch the clogged feeling returned. I can only describe it as similar to the feeling I had the week after surgery when I was still swollen and tried semi solid food. Uncomfortable but not really painful.

So, being the honest woman that I am, I told the PA about it and she asked a few other questions and decided I shouldn't get the fill and instead I should go back to liquids for a couple of days and then call the doctor on Thursday. If the feeling hadn't gone away by then, they would probably want to get another upper GI series.

I am so disappointed! I gained two pounds. I have no restriction. I can eat and drink anything without any real restriction and then this set back. On top of this, I suffer from PMDD and my period is 4 days late (I attribute this to the stress of the surgery) - my OB/Gyn says the later the period, the worse the PMS/PMDD. I am depressed, sad, angry, feeling like a total failure and embarrassed that I acted like a total f'ing baby at the doctor's office today.

So, feeling like crap emotionally, and on the verge of tears, I leave the office and run into my surgeon on the street. He asks me what's wrong and I warn him that his PA is going to tell him what a baby I am.

I feel like such a failure. I go through a major alteration to my body to lose weight and I feel like this journey that everyone writes about just won't start for me. It's like I'm seated in coach, in a middle seat, on the runway for 9 hours and they won't let anyone get up or take the damn plane back to the gate.

I know it took me a long time to get this fat and it will take time to lose the weight...I just want to START.

The Key is you so turn it on and make the choices to do the best you can. You are in the drivers seat and your plane sounds like you are ready to take off. Do not let a pebble stop your wheels from rolling. It takes attitude and determination to work with this band. Try not to eat too much food you already have stored energy make your plane use it. Well that is what I have been doing, am using my stored energy also know as FAT and it is working. You can do this!!! Thanks for sharing and Best wishes imaluckydog

Hey Babara, don't get frustrated, it is a long and hard journey to get to where we want to be. I takes determination and committment like nothing we have done before. You can overcome your weaknesses and frustrations if you stay focused. You sound like you are ready to take off, just don't let the dark side conquer you. You have to dig deep, get up the courage and continue to fight. You will beat this thing, but you have to stay the course. Best of luck to you...Bigbaldeagle