By bfrancis
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I recently received some distressing news that has meant that I will be bringing this blog to a close for the foreseeable future. The news from my doctor was sudden and very sharp.
Having been basking in the speedy weight loss glory that the Lap Band enabled me to have has been nothing short of amazing for me. But it was over the last couple of months that I noticed a change in my eating habits and frame reduction. I have been eating less, feeling unwell and not losing any weight at all. This prompted a visit to the doctor. A visit that left me cold.
After the array of basic tests that were performed on me – a diagnosis was delivered in perhaps the worst bedside manner that any man could muster.
“Well Mr Francis”, the doctor sternly opened with. “I don’t think we need any blood tests, it’s pretty obvious what the problem is”.
The words left me curious and somewhat scared.
“You need to pay close attention to me here, as I am going to say something that may well initially distress you”.
I braced myself for the worst possible scenario.
“You are going to…”
Time stopped – I knew exactly what he was going to say…and he confirmed my worst fears in just a few words…
“You are going to…have to start exercising”.
Oh god no.
I left the surgery having just been diagnosed with terminal laziness.
I reached out for sympathy when I got home – but there was none to be had. I was in this on my own.
After the initial shock subsided, I realised that perhaps I had been far too melodramatic for anyone to pay attention to; melodrama that may well have come across in the above prose, who knows?
I moved through the stages of grief pretty quickly.
Denial came and went in a brief flash – “What does that quack know? I have a gastric band godammit!”
No sooner had denial crossed my mind, that the thought of complaining to the Medical Council about his delivery of such a ridiculous prognosis entered my mind. I would demand that he was struck off immediately!
The angry stage left just as speedily as it came and was replaced with bargaining. I tried to think of ways I could bribe him to give me magical beans that would speed up my metabolism in a less unhealthy way than amphetamines. I realised there were no such beans.
And so, by the time I arrived home, bargaining was replaced by depression. The very thought of changing my sedentary life style to something less stagnant left me in need of a pantry populated with Prozac.
Self-pity is a funny thing. It’s heroically tedious. This led to the fifth and final stage, acceptance.
I got very bored of being in a black mood over something as trivial as raising my heart rate above sluggish. I turned myself around very quickly with some financial therapy and a new excercise bike. Only forty kilometers and a rather large bucket of sweat later – I am convinced that I may well start feeling excited about this whole thing again.
I am very easily bored – and may well find myself in everlasting ennui with my new excercise machine – but, if I do, I am going to do my utmost to replace it with something that will keep this new life that the Lap Band has offered me.
I entitled this article Goodbye because I feel I have reached the end of scribing anything useful to the weight-loss community and I would only be serving to fill empty space with nonsensical rambles. As per this one. I may well return for an update if and when I feel there is something of relevance to say in relation to this blog – but until then, I sign off.
I do hope you have enjoyed these stories or found them interesting, useful or reminiscent of your own experiences. If not, then I pity the fact that you have read this far!
Feel free to make cyber-friends with me on Facebook, Twitter or see my website.
Goodbye fair fellow and wannabe fellow banders, I wish you success and pleasant trails on your life ahead!
Ben
x
Originally posted at www.lapbandforum.org.uk
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