fell off the wagon (kinda)... need help
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So I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience or could offer advice.
I was banded like 1.5 years ago. anyway at first I was doing ok, had my first fill and thinks were moving along... well then I had a series of things happen in my life that caused me to get severely depressed. I mean not your average depressed this was like nothing I've ever experienced before and hope to never go through again. I was have panic attacks and then I couldn't get out of bed for months. I would just lie there and cry then when I was all cried out I would just lay there and stare off into space. I went to the doc they gave me medicine, and I was able to make myself get out of bed. I would get up get dressed and sit on the couch completely numb until it was time for me to go to bed. It was a really dark time... but anyway during that time I gained back all of the weight I'd lost. Then after I was able to start getting past it and go back to work. I was still pretty blah and I really fell off the whole healthy eat right LAP-BAND® band wagon.
So now that I'm over it and I feel like myself again, I've been trying to loose weight, but I don't know what to do. I mean the whole reason I had the surgery was b/c I couldn't loose weight and now I feel like I screwed myself by getting all depressed. I want to go to my doc to see if I could get back on a diet and get fills and stuff again. But to be honest I'm embarrassed. I weigh more now then I did pre-surgey. Not by much, but still more.
I don't know what to do. If anyone has had a similar situation or has gained weight and then went back to the program I would love to hear your thoughts. Any advice, words of wisdom, or encouragement is much appreciated.