Several weeks ago while I was at the gym one of the ladies, who I talk with frequently ask me how much I had lost and I told her about 60 pounds. There was an older man who I never talk to listening to the conversation and chimed in, "Wow, you must have been really big". I just gave him a "who are you look" and was like "Yes, I guess I was". Of course I was furious.

Then today he approached me to tell me that "I really didn't think you would stick with working out" and that "normally people as large as you just can't stay committed; try to stay motivated".

Can you believe this man? Who does he think he is? Why do people think they can say whatever they want. The worst part is: I think he believes he was giving me a compliment.

Anyone else have nasty people out there say mean things to them and embarrass you?

When someone is that rude or crass, just give it right back to him. Let him know just how rude he is. And make it very plain that you don't need or want his opinion, and that what you do or don't do with your life is no business of his. BUTT OUT.

Actually, I'm not seeing all that much wrong with what he had to say.

Of course, I wasn't there, I didn't hear his tone, inflections, etc, But it didn't sound like something I would post in a forum over.

I've had people say similar stuff to me when they found out how much I weighed pre-surgery. Many times, In fact.

And, as far as staying committed, well, what he said was quite factual. It IS hard for heavier people to commit to a long-term excercise regimen. I do think he was trying to be complimentary, but he just wasn't all that good at it.

HH

Smile sweetly and say "At least exercising will help in my continued journey towards good health. Unfortunately, exercise won't help with aquiring good manners."

Smile sweetly and say "At least exercising will help in my continued journey towards good health. Unfortunately, exercise won't help with aquiring good manners."

Nicely put.

HH

Actually, I'm not seeing all that much wrong with what he had to say.

Of course, I wasn't there, I didn't hear his tone, inflections, etc, But it didn't sound like something I would post in a forum over.

I've had people say similar stuff to me when they found out how much I weighed pre-surgery. Many times, In fact.

And, as far as staying committed, well, what he said was quite factual. It IS hard for heavier people to commit to a long-term excercise regimen. I do think he was trying to be complimentary, but he just wasn't all that good at it.

HH

I respectfully disagree with your statement that it is hard for heavier people to commit to a long-term exercies regimen. I totally believe that it is hard for EVERYBODY (heavier or lighter) to commit to a long-term exercise regimen.

Oh my goodness. Aren't people sometimes just ridiculous. Some people have absolutely no clue as to how their statements effect others. Is it your job to try and teach him that what he said was hurtful- probably not. Could you say something- yes you could. You mentioned he was older- it is possible that no one has educated him or even more likely that people have and he just isn't going to get it. I imagine he might be a pretty lonely person and is hard to live with. I am sorry he said those things to you- my father is very much a clueless person when it comes to understanding how things he says to me effect me. Is he a mean man- absolutely not- he is actually quite sensitive but he just doesn't get it when it comes to weight being a sensitive topic for me and general good social skills. I have learned to just brush it off (on the outside) and try not to let the statements linger on in my head. Keep up the good work and keep your head up!!!

It never ceases to amaze me how ill mannered some people can be, and then there are the people that just say what's on their mind without giving any thought to how it might sound.

I had a similar incident with a female securty guard in my office building. I started walking everyday at lunch, after a few weeks the 20something size 6 in our office asked if she could join me. Sure why not the company is great. After a few weeks of walking the guard is talking to us one day as we are waiting for the elevator on our way back from our tortureous walk (noon in houston heat) she asks so "who asked who to walk" we told her that skinny 20something asked if she could join me....the guard says "Oh, I would have thought it was the other way around."

I just shook me head and got on the elevator....some people are just clueless as to how they sound, honestly this guy is probably one of those.

You keep doing what you are doing and don't let idiots sidetrack you!!

~Monica

You keep doing what you are doing and don't let idiots sidetrack you!!

~Monica

Hear Hear! Being upset or correcting or retaliating against rude behavior is just such a waste of MY PERSONAL TIME. I wouldn't even consider bothering unless the person was someone near and dear to me and even then I'd have to consider whether it was worth the effort (i.e. it really may not be malicious and can be overlooked in light of the relationship). That helped me get through a 30 year relationship with a sometimes less than thoughtful mother-in-law

Your best support person(s) are not going to behave that way and if they do....just come on here....we're a sensitive bunch

you wanted to know if it's just you or has everyone had a rude person to deal with. Well to start my story I have always wanted a belly button ring but never did it when I was heavier. I just done it a couple of months ago. I posted something on this website about wanting a belly button ring, and had someone actually post...well if you are getting your belly button pierced you must not have been that heavy and probably didn't need lapband at all. I don't know who they were to judge, and yes not everyone starts out at the same weight, and I was heavy for my height and it was only getting worse. I'm proud of where I'm at and where I'm going because I know where I have come from, and that's why I did the belly button ring. Keep your head up, stay strong, and keep going...because no one can hold us back.

I totally agree with Big Momma is Shrinking and tessieKay. You were not at the gym for his opinion and it is usually a waste of time to educate someone like that. Forget it girl and move on. You are obviously doing great and working hard for your weight loss success. It seems there is always someone out there trying to derail anyone who is trying to better themselves in some way. Don't worry about the nay sayers. They don't have a clue.

I respectfully disagree with your statement that it is hard for heavier people to commit to a long-term exercies regimen. I totally believe that it is hard for EVERYBODY (heavier or lighter) to commit to a long-term exercise regimen.

My thoughts exactly!!! Just because someone is thin doesn't mean they live in the gym or eat a healthy diet. I know thin people who eat more than my fat butt ever did and never gained a pound and also never did an exercise program in their life!! So I wouldn't be so quick to blame laziness and lack of exercise only on heavier people.

My response to people who say things like that is always the same, "Why would you say something like that?" And then look at them like they have three heads.

:smile:

That guy is a serious A-hole. Thats all I have to say about that. I would have just given him a really WTF look, shook my head, walked away, and not think about him again. Eww what a pompus arogant creep

Several weeks ago while I was at the gym one of the ladies, who I talk with frequently ask me how much I had lost and I told her about 60 pounds. There was an older man who I never talk to listening to the conversation and chimed in, "Wow, you must have been really big". I just gave him a "who are you look" and was like "Yes, I guess I was". Of course I was furious.

Then today he approached me to tell me that "I really didn't think you would stick with working out" and that "normally people as large as you just can't stay committed; try to stay motivated".

Can you believe this man? Who does he think he is? Why do people think they can say whatever they want. The worst part is: I think he believes he was giving me a compliment.

Anyone else have nasty people out there say mean things to them and embarrass you?

Tracie I admire you for your restraining yourself especailly when this person wasn't even part of your originalconservation.Sean

He is just so insensitive. To think that you don't even know each other and that you were not even talking to him. He was just listening or prying at your conversation. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. 60 pounds is already a great achievement. By the way, congrats on that Tracie.:smile: