Hello! This is my first post here.

I'm fresh into the process. I'm 29. Have 145 lbs to lose. Set a goal for myself when I was 25, gave myself 5 years to get the weight off myself, or I would have some sort of surgery. I've done the research, compared, asked around. LapBand is the way I want to go. I've keep my doctors apprised, and I'm well documented. I've got an appointment set with my primary doctor to get the insurance process started, and I'm signed up for a seminar the following week from that. I am hoping that I have a date scheduled before the end of the year.

I am not scared about the actual surgery, but scared to death about how my body will or won't respond to it, and how I'll do with my will and my emotional response. food addiction came with the weight, not the other way around. I know what has to happen, and I will get there.

I'm glad I found this spot, because some things that I wonder about aren't necessarily medical in nature. (Like, will I be able to enjoy at least a few indulgent items now and again? Will I be able to cope with the total lifestyle change?)

I've never been able to lose more than 30 lbs on any diet that I've ever tried, no matter how long I stuck with it, and eventually, I just give up and gain it back, plus a few more. I'm at 289 now.

I just know that I don't want to cut my life short because of my weight. I've tried, heavens I've tried. I want all this extra crap to go away (sleep apnea, high blood pressure, increased asthma sensitivity, discomfort, depression, etc.). I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the stigma. I'm tired of the constant battle.

The process, though I have support, makes me feel...lonely. Because I know it is really just a process I have to go through, no one is doing it "with" me or for me. Being accountable to myself isn't always my strong point, I'm going to need help. Friendly help, by folks that know exactly what I'm going through from personal experience.

I am trying my hardest to be matter-of-fact and not feel like I've failed myself and have to have someone or something bail me out. What I am looking forward to, is becoming the person I feel like inside, and no longer wondering who the person is that looks back at me in the mirror.

Thanks for being here, and I hope to get to know people around, seems like a good community.

~Sonia

Current: 289 Goal: 144

Sonia, something that may help is that many of the surgeons offer live support groups. And I've even made friends with a couple of people on this forum! They both live near me and we discovered we have enough in common beyond the band to be friends. The decision is a HUGE step but it does develop a sort of rhythm and your comfort zone with grow. Let us know when you have questions or just need to vent.