Your opinion please.......

I have a new boss, he's been here since November of last year. He was in the military 23 years, very structered, very disciplined. He is handsome, fit, exercises like mad and is the type of person that doesn't want to hear crap... just get the job done kind of guy.

I spoke with one girl here at work who I am very close to, and she said that I should not tell him I am getting the band b/c she gets the impression that he will look down on me (she is heavy too). Like he's the type of person that would say (to himself of course).. why can't you just lose the weight, why can't you just have self control. Like I'm wasting company sick time going for something like this thats, to him, not necessary. He does kind of judge people on thier education level, this I have witnessed at work for myself.

A part of me feels like she's right but another part feels like she's not. I have to tell him eventually that I'm going out on medical leave and I do have a right to privacy but then I think to myself, what if I get sick or something happens. I'm with this guy more than my family, 40 hrs + a week.

I just know when I do tell him I'm going out, he's gonna give me those puppy dog eyes and ask why, are you okay. I'm so gullable too (sigh).

He is very hard to read into.

What would you do?

in a perfect world thatd be true but take it from me who also is usually the boss-this stuff is RARELY ever kept quiet.

I would tell him a "female type surgery". I know it isn't female specific but it is for you. Plus, most men assume tubes tied or something and don't want to know more.

lol-so true.

I agree with Jenna. Or you could try my routine: blush (if you're a pale white person), look shyly away, and say it's a delicate matter. He'll figure it's either a gyne problem or hemorrhoids. If he pushes you, you can assure him that your prognosis is good, and you'll be back to work soon. Good luck!

I wouldnt share the details, its not like you have a close relationship or anything. And if he asks, I'd fib, say gall bladder or something.

I dont think having a lap band is anything to be ashamed of, but at the same time, you dont want all and sundry knowing either, because some people will make those kind of judgements. Unless you suffer from being obese, you simply cannot know what the problems involved are.

If you really want to put him off asking any more questions, just say its girls stuff, lol.

Avoid the whole discussion by using a week's worth of vacation time for the surgery.

Save your sick time in case there is some complication or you get sick.

Remember you are making a commitment to follow-up appointments every month plus bloodwork plus who knows what. You never know when you will need to take a day.

Take advantage of the fact that you can schedule this a month or more in advance.

Since everyone is in agreement that there is no privacy at work and your boss will find out from the medical department anyway, don't get yourself caught up in telling a lie or half truth if he will find out anyway.

Well, if you do tell him you are going to have your gall bladder out, then aren't you going to look special if you have to have it out for real?

Honesty is always the best policy.

Well, if you do tell him you are going to have your gall bladder out, then aren't you going to look special if you have to have it out for real?

Honesty is always the best policy.

Thats exactly how I feel. I'm not going to tell him, I'm just gonna say its personal. I'm not ashamed of the band what so ever, its just that I feel he won't understand (yes one of those).

The only thing I can do is talk to medical when I hand in the paperwork and ask them not to say anything. If they blab, then they blab. I know that when companies say "Privacy" they are full of moose kaka. I've seen it over and over. But I can try.

Ivan, I have a LOAD of sick time to take rather than use my vacation. Thats one good thing about the company I work for. But thats a good suggestion, thanks !!

Thanks everyone for your advice

I agree with Jenna. Or you could try my routine: blush (if you're a pale white person), look shyly away, and say it's a delicate matter. He'll figure it's either a gyne problem or hemorrhoids. If he pushes you, you can assure him that your prognosis is good, and you'll be back to work soon. Good luck!

ROFL !!! Yes, I'm pale too

I wouldn't tell him. It's really none of his business. I told no one at my work. I just said "surgery." Let him think it's a female problem or something.

Hi, I know you already made your decision, but I will swear I work for your boss's twin. I had major problems with my boss when I had twins and then over back surgery I had 2 years ago. He was in the Navy for years, attended the Navy academy and is super fit. I didn't want to tell him what I was going to do, then a co-worker suggested that I do tell him because he is such a health nut. I did decide to tell him and he was way more supportive than I ever dreamed of. So you never know, he could surprise you. I would probably keep quiet until the last minute, then let him know. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Julie

This might work for you too...

My boss almost denied my vacation request about an hour ago, so I just said, "Well I really didn't want to discuss this with anyone, which is why I requested vacation in the first place, but I am having surgery and need the time to recover. I will be back to work no problem in a few days though." I think he assumed it was "girly," but serious since I was keeping it close to the vest. He didn't push any further, and granted the time without question at that point. Not dishonest in the least, maybe just intentionally misleading? Hope all is going/went well.