I have been a member of this forum since October 08, and have gotten such WONDERFUL information and support by reading your posts and asking questions. So many people are so positive and helpful, and that is such a GREAT thing!!!!

So WHY do some people have to be so negative?!?!? I have seen a number of posts that have been so negative. Do these people not remember that childhood lesson of, "If you don't have something nice to say then don't say it all!"

I am not talking about the post that are giving factual information about Lapband that might cause some heated discussions. I am talking about people just being MEAN!!

I guess there are mean people everywhere. Which is just plain sad because to me this is, for the most part, a positive place for information and support!

I have about had it with this forum!!!!! I have been posting in another thread and then certain people jump in with rude comments and then a moderator comes in and chastizes me. First it is the people just down right being rude and then the moderators back them up. This is not the first time this has happened, Un freekin believable!!!!!!!

Oh, I dont know, see I just wouldnt get offended by that. I also wouldnt say it, I agree. But I figure, if I"m going to put my ideas out there, people are going to have opinions in return. I wouldnt go up to strangers in the street and tell them I was getting my husbands name tattooed on my bum (yes, Its got an O in it), without expecting at least one to say "ooh, yuck". You do need a thick skin to survive cyberspace I think. People will say the most incredible things when its not to someone's face.

Heated debates are different, some of those get nasty, and I've certainly said things that I later thought I shouldnt. But usually in those situations, the argument is actively sought.

Oh, I dont know, see I just wouldnt get offended by that. I also wouldnt say it, I agree. But I figure, if I"m going to put my ideas out there, people are going to have opinions in return. I wouldnt go up to strangers in the street and tell them I was getting my husbands name tattooed on my bum (yes, Its got an O in it), without expecting at least one to say "ooh, yuck". You do need a thick skin to survive cyberspace I think. People will say the most incredible things when its not to someone's face.

Heated debates are different, some of those get nasty, and I've certainly said things that I later thought I shouldnt. But usually in those situations, the argument is actively sought.

I completely agree. I would NEVER tell someone on the street what I was planning to do when I reached my weight loss goal. This particular thread was about that though, the OP asked what every one was planning to do. There are definitely posts on this site that I do not agree with, as I am sure this specific poster did not agree, but I would NEVER comment on them!

Believe me, I am taking this all with a grain of salt

On a side note Jachut, I really enjoy reading your posts. You and some of the other veterans are very inspirational. :thumbup:

I have about had it with this forum!!!!! I have been posting in another thread and then certain people jump in with rude comments and then a moderator comes in and chastizes me. First it is the people just down right being rude and then the moderators back them up. This is not the first time this has happened, Un freekin believable!!!!!!!

Fab, this forum has 50,000+ members, with many many joining each day. With that many people all talking collectively there are bound to be some disputes. I completely agree with Jachut that you must have some thick skin, especially in such a crowded environment.

I'm pretty sure I know of the other forum you're talking about. I visit there too, and I agree they are much more calm.

If that suits you better, then perhaps that is where you should spend more of your time. Having the band is stress enough, you shouldn't have to get more just by talking about it with others.

storm, I like tattoos and I'm also going to get one when I reach goal. Not everyone does though, so you'll have to expect a little negativity when expressing your getting one. Just a little advice though, get it where its not visible. Those are the ones I really regret.

The tattoo I am getting will be in white ink, so no one will be able to see it unless they are very close to me and really looking. I am not getting a tattoo to make a statement, I am getting one to Celebrate my success....this is still a long time in coming, I have a LONG way to go....but I will get there :laugh:!!!

I work in Higher Education, I cannot have a visible tattoo, and even if I were not in the education field I still would not get a tattoo that could not be covered up in some way.

I think this is a good thread and it asks a very valid question.

In my experience, it seems to me that a lot of the negativity is due to frustration. Everyone here is fighting a battle, either a battle to lose weight, help a loved one lose weight, maintain weight loss, or even to simply live.

The normal blunt opinions are one thing. People fail to realize all the time how their comments impact others. Why, I’m absolutely certain I’ve managed to offend quite a few people on this forum without ever intending to. If I have, I sincerely apologize. I don’t interact with any other forums, but I would imagine hurtful opinions are present in mass quantities all over the internet.

The comments that concern me, though, are statements made about someone’s decisions or attempts to lose weight. It’s the threads such as, “Do I really have to stop drinking sodas?” or “Who cheated on their preop diet?” that seem to result in the most vicious responses. Everyone has an opinion on these questions and it’s not uncommon that the opinion, hurtful as it is, is something along the lines of, “If you didn’t want to follow the lapband rules, why did you get it?” I think most of the time, replies like that are due to frustration and aren’t meant to be mean but rather to drive home a point. A lot of people, including myself, have trouble drawing a line between honest and rude.