Because it's late, and I'm bored, and I can't access chat, I'm starting a new thread (May it be as prolific as the 6300+ post PJTP):

Virtual Psychiatry

Come on in, recline on the couch and tell me all about it. Phobias, dream analysis, electroshock therapy, I'll do it all, except housecalls.

Advice not meant to be taken seriously. Do not bring any serious or emotionally painful problems in here, as I'll probably end up mocking them. Sure, my advice sucks, but ya gets what ya pays for.

Yes, well, this is awkward.....but you've both been so forthcoming that I will share some deep dark secrets:

I occasionally like to attach clothespins to my body whildst sporting a sailor suit. I find it soothing to yell at an antique Barbie doll that I've named "mother". I sometimes loiter at the produce section of my local WalMart and giggle when the elderly ladies pick up a cucumber. My oral fixation is so pronounced that I frequently must wear a "spit cup" affixed under my chin with a velcro strap.

But other than those things, I think I'm pretty well adjusted.

Sure, plain, Adjusted is your middle name! Did you know you could tell if a girl is a virgin or not by the way she handles cucumbers at the produce dept? I am sure you will now go and make your own independent observations on this. I look forward to hearing you validate this theory.

And man, that clothes pin thing is kinky.:smile2:

Ok, it's a compromise. But I still find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'd hate to keep you waiting in suspense so I'll just throw the other shoe at you. :smile2:

Did you know you could tell if a girl is a virgin or not by the way she handles cucumbers at the produce dept?

Bwahahahahahaha!!!! What an awesome pickup line that would be!!

That actually makes me think of when I wash zuccini or squash. The handy work that goes into it always makes me feel dirty cause the way I wash it is the same way I handle my husband.. and over turkey day when making my squash zuccini casserole, I wondered if anyone else in the kitchen thought what I was doing was dirty looking.

Dear Dr Plain,

I seem to have an obsession about snakes, thinking about them night and day. Thoughts of them are keeping me awake at night, especially when I'm away on site for work. Can you help?

PS: Tell me more about these clothespins! HAWT!

That actually makes me think of when I wash zuccini or squash. The handy work that goes into it always makes me feel dirty cause the way I wash it is the same way I handle my husband.. and over turkey day when making my squash zuccini casserole, I wondered if anyone else in the kitchen thought what I was doing was dirty looking.

I think you should go on "America's got talent"

Dear Dr Plain,

I seem to have an obsession about snakes, thinking about them night and day. Thoughts of them are keeping me awake at night, especially when I'm away on site for work. Can you help?

PS: Tell me more about these clothespins! HAWT!

Fanny, I believe that this is a classic Freudian construct. Your obsession about snakes belies your comfort with your own sexuality. The fact that you handle venomous snakes implies that you sometimes prefer "dangerous" men.

Prescription: Get your BF to dress up as Hugh Jackman. Ask him if he wants to "play Australia". If he asks what that entails, tell him he's going to the "land down under".

Hey doc! Are you taking new patients?:wink_smile:

Hey doc! Are you taking new patients?:wink_smile:

Post your problem, get a solution. Unless you just wanna "play doctor".....heeheehee

"play doctor", hmmmmm...I have done that... I mean my friend hasn't done that in years.

I.. I mean, my friend has this problem. My friend seems to find the things that you say down right funny. What should I... I mean, she do about it?

I think you should go on "America's got talent"

Fanny, I believe that this is a classic Freudian construct. Your obsession about snakes belies your comfort with your own sexuality. The fact that you handle venomous snakes implies that you sometimes prefer "dangerous" men.

Prescription: Get your BF to dress up as Hugh Jackman. Ask him if he wants to "play Australia". If he asks what that entails, tell him he's going to the "land down under".

:frown: Ahahahaha!! I think you're better at this than you realise. He might not dress up like Hugh Jackman, but I have been known to call him "Master"! :angry_smile:

I.. I mean, my friend has this problem. My friend seems to find the things that you say down right funny. What should I... I mean, she do about it?

If you are entertained by these comments, then your humor threshold is dangerously low!! Perhaps the anxiety and pressures of everyday life subliminally cause you to gravitate towards levity?

Prescription: watch the funniest movie ever made: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy

Since banding I have lost interest in dating???? I look better than I have in a couple of years, but still I have no interest. Go figure!!! Donna

Prescription: watch the funniest movie ever made: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy

Plain, sometimes your taste in movies is just plain sophomoric!

Plain, sometimes your taste in movies is just plain sophomoric!

I must admit I was thinking the same thing.