What would y'all think?

I told my boss a couple weeks ago that I may be needing surgery (had a bunch of doctor's visits and was getting the "are you dying?" thing). I DO have a hiatal hernia, so I just mentioned that that's what I was having done.

So yesterday I give her my leave request with my surgery date and she starts to ask about the surgery because she thinks SHE has one too. I don't really know how they do a straight hiatal hernia, so I told her they do it laproscopically so when I have stitches, etc., it won't raise eyebrows.

Get this: She says, "While they're in there, maybe they can put in a few staples."

I said, "What??"

She said, "Well, if they're in there anyway, maybe they can put in a few staples."

I just stand there... not saying anything. Now mind you, since she was made aware a couple weeks ago that I was having "a" surgery, she asked if I was going to get a nip and tuck while I was at it.

Omg, how inappropriate IS that??? She won't be here much longer, but I am debating filing a complaint. It won't do anything, but omg, it's just so.... OMG! It's not like we have this bad relationship or anything where she would say this out of some resentment or anger towards me. She just seems not to have a filter between her brain and her mouth.

That is so inappropriate. I don't know how I would have reacted. I think my mouth would have dropped and I wouldn't have been able to speak. And she is in MANAGEMENT!!! I think I would file a complaint even if she is leaving.

Some people are just totally crass!

Is she thin or overweight? I could take the comment if she is overweight but if she is thin I would probably sit on her, lol.

I would just ignore it and move on. Life is too short to worry about idiots like that.

Most of us are or were pretty obese, obviously. That's just the comment you heard, I'm sure there are plenty we don't.

Is she thin or overweight? I could take the comment if she is overweight but if she is thin I would probably sit on her, lol.

She was thinner a year ago. She has definitely put on about 30 pounds (though she is taller than me). I could sit on her head and squish it like a melon.

Most of us are or were pretty obese, obviously. That's just the comment you heard, I'm sure there are plenty we don't.

I hadn't thought about that. Sad, really...

She was thinner a year ago. She has definitely put on about 30 pounds (though she is taller than me). I could sit on her head and squish it like a melon.

That's so funny! Maybe since she gained weight she thinks it makes her a part of some fat chick sisterhood - if she says anything like that again I would just ask her if she wants me to find out if we can get a two for one deal!

I had to tell my Director that I was having surgery and ask permission because the surgery date is only 20 days out instead of the 30 required by policy. When I asked her for the time off, she emailed me back and said, "I'm surprised, I didn't know you were thinking about surgery". I do not have a good relationship with this woman, and think she is a hateful, evil person. Of course I would not have told her I was planning on having surgery until I knew for sure. What irritates me the most is that I know when my medical leave form comes to her from HR that she will google my surgeon's name to find out what kind of surgery he does. I don't want her to know, but I know she will dig to find out anyway because of the kind of person she is. I certainly intend to hold her to the strictest of employee/employer relationships!

Some people just say the stupidest things. If she is a repeat offender of rude comments then I would file a complaint. Otherwise I just let idiot remarks roll off of me. That always makes you the bigger person.

I had to tell my Director that I was having surgery and ask permission because the surgery date is only 20 days out instead of the 30 required by policy. When I asked her for the time off, she emailed me back and said, "I'm surprised, I didn't know you were thinking about surgery". I do not have a good relationship with this woman, and think she is a hateful, evil person. Of course I would not have told her I was planning on having surgery until I knew for sure. What irritates me the most is that I know when my medical leave form comes to her from HR that she will google my surgeon's name to find out what kind of surgery he does. I don't want her to know, but I know she will dig to find out anyway because of the kind of person she is. I certainly intend to hold her to the strictest of employee/employer relationships!

Does your surgeon's name HAVE to appear on your paperwork?? I don't know why they would need to know! That, to me, violates the HIPPA rules completely! Can you ask your HR to black out your doctor's name before she gets a copy? That just sounds totally wrong.

Some people just say the stupidest things. If she is a repeat offender of rude comments then I would file a complaint. Otherwise I just let idiot remarks roll off of me. That always makes you the bigger person.

Well, this is the third comment about my physique in two weeks -- two about getting tucks and/or lifts, and the one about the staples.

She has also made flip comments about my new grandchild that were out of line as well.

Some people just say the stupidest things. If she is a repeat offender of rude comments then I would file a complaint. Otherwise I just let idiot remarks roll off of me. That always makes you the bigger person.

Brandy, being the "bigger person" here isn't necessarilu the best thing. How about "better person"?

I had a supervisor once who told me I HAD to put the type of surgery I was having on my leave request. I had never heard such a thing and put my hysterechtomy on there. She even went so far as to tell me I had to put whether I was having it vaginally or abdominally since one would require more leave time..... I was flabbergasted. I worked for a school district. I later had problems with her, and when I was in the superintendents office discussing these problems, that topic came up. He became purple with rage and said that was in no way true. He asked for my file, and there it all was, big as Dallas!! She got in SO MUCH trouble...... According to him the word surgery was all that was required.

At the job I'm at now, I didn't tell ANYONE what surgery I was having done. When asked, I just said I had to correct some stomach problems. Months later when I had lost a lot of weight, I got invited to an office party for another department. It was a "good luck" party.... I didn't know the honoree, and had no intention of going. I kept getting pressured to go, and was puzzled by it. After several people encouraged me to go, I went. It turned out they were having a luncheon for a guy having bypass surgery the next day. (???? luncheon???) Anyway, they take me over to him and introduce us. Fine. Then one of them interrupts the party and announces to the ENTIRE ROOM that since I had the surgery, they thought it would be nice if I talked to him to calm his fears, and answer any questions he might have, and maybe act as a buddy for him when he returned. I was dumbfounded. Speechless. Everyone was staring at me. So much for privacy!!!! I was so angry I couldn't move. I pulled the man over to the conrner, congratulated him, explained I didn't have bypass, I had a lap band and apologized for the idiots that had invited me. He was very aware how uncomfortable I was, and apologized to me. He was actually mortified. I left immediately. He's been a nice friend ever since, but I still want to knock the teeth out of the bimbos that set that whole scene up!!

It is so amazing to me how some people in this world think that they can say or do anything and the rest of us should take it. I'm sure many of you have experienced the looks and comments from people while walking in a mall or etc. Do they think we are deaf and can't hear their rude comments to companions. These are probably the kind of people who make remards about the handicapped, too... I just have no time for these people.

Does your surgeon's name HAVE to appear on your paperwork?? I don't know why they would need to know! That, to me, violates the HIPPA rules completely! Can you ask your HR to black out your doctor's name before she gets a copy? That just sounds totally wrong.

Thanks for the advice. I will talk to someone in HR and see if they can black out the name if it's not too late. My problem seems small compared to the situations that others on this thread have relayed. I can't believe the gall of some people who think they are better. Every person has issues, some aren't quite as obvious as others. All I can suggest is be proud of yourself, hold your head high and smile a lot. Remember...They can't get your goat if they don't know where it's tied!