So yeah, for the first time last night I talked to her about me wanting to have Lap-Band surgery. She works in a hospital in medical records so she thinks she's a doctor by proxy. :teeth_smile:

She says to me "You mentioned this a long time ago and I wasn't too thrilled with it. So I informed her that she was right about me talking about WLS but it wasn't LBS it was GBS. And she said "Noooo it wasn't! It was LBS you were considering!" Yeah ok...anyway. So she says "You go on Weight Watchers and you lose weight just fine." So I said "Yeah, that's why I'm still 120 lbs overweight." So she says "Well that's because you don't stick with it!" :redface: Now this is coming from a woman who is also over weight. Sure, she lost about 40 lbs and has kept it off but she's still a size 18 (she is 5'3") and has diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. If anyone should be doing this it's her. This is also someone who called me a "fat pig" when I was about 6 or 7 years old and if you saw pics of me from then you would know I was the opposite. I could have stood to gain weight.

So then she proceeds to tell me "I don't know anyone who hasn't had this surgery that hasn't gained the weight back in 5 years." She knows one person and she had GBS and that's just one person and I've never seen this person before so I don't even know for sure that she gained the weight back. My step mother been known to bend the truth or lie when it suits her needs.

So I told her that I know it isn't a magic bullet and that I'm going to have to change my eating habits for the rest of my life but the band is a tool that will help me do something that I haven't been able to do on my own. And I told her that I have given this a lot of thought. A lot of serious thought and I've done quite a bit of research on the surgery so I'm not going in to this blindly. I know all the pros but I also know most, if not all, of the cons.

I lost about 75 lbs on weight watchers when I was 17-18 but...I worked for my parents and being that they wanted me to lose weight I could leave whenever I wanted to go to the gym and I lived at home so my step mother did all the grocery shopping. I lost the weight and then I thought "Cool! I'm done!" Yeah...:wink_smile: Obviously I wasn't. I know now that I won't ever be done. This is something I will have to work at for the rest of my life.

So she says to me "You're going to have to go on a diet for the rest of your life if you do this. Why can't you do it without having surgery?" ARGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :smile2:

Sorry this was so long. I just needed to vent.

Thanks for "listening" :biggrin:

:rant:

Edited September 28, 200817 yr by ♥Amy♥

Well obviously lesson learned - your SM is not someone with whom you can have conversations. Keep this is mind when other life events raise their head!

I would be polite as is required in any setting with her, but otherwise, forget her.

Question: is she likely to discuss this (including her 'wisdom') with other family? Be prepared.

This is YOUR life and YOUR decision. She sounds like she is just jealous and wants someone else to be in the same rut that she is. Even when you lose your weight and get where you want to be, she will be the one making comments like, 'she couldn't do it without cheating.' But honestly, you will not regret having this surgery, it will change your life, health, self esteem, and every other aspect of your life and those rude comments will make you laugh. Also, make sure as you go down in sizes, you offer your plus sized clothes since you have no use for them anymore :biggrin:

Good luck with your surgery!

Thats why I keep my own council. I never have conflict with myself. You do not need aproval from Mom. My Mother does not have a clue about my band. I only told my supportive DH and DD.

I have had the same conversation with a number of people and I now don't converse with them about that topic anymore AND, if the situation calls for it, I flat tell them that.

I have had one very negative person, my grandpa, who someone converted into a supporter. He goes to "exercise club", as he puts it, with a woman who had the bypass and she is doing great. He is now onboard for my surgery and understands that it is a different surgery and my loss will most likely be slower.

Now he wants to be the one to take me to surgery.

Your step-mother may also be reacting from jealousy because you are fixing to lose weight and she will still be "heavy".

Just avoid the subject with her....walk away and grit your teeth...and look forward to being a healthier you. You ARE doing the right thing!

Thank you so much, everyone, for the supportive and encouraging words.

You have no idea how much it means to me.

And yes...she is a hater.

Im not sure this will help as you sound young, but no matter your age, parents or others in your life will say things like this, you just have to make up your own mind.

Im much much older than you, both my parents are too thin, in fact my dad had to have a feeding tube because he cant make himself eat enough (sighs). I heard the same things you are telling me. If you have to go on a diet anyway, why get the lapband, its a lot of money (I was self pay). Why cant you just go back on nutrisystem, you did really well on that diet (but I gained it all back and then some when life became tough).

Sometimes you just have to make the decision for you, not for what others will approve, just what is best for you.

Thank you so much' date=' everyone, for the supportive and encouraging words.

You have no idea how much it means to me.

And yes...she is a hater. :biggrin:[/quote']

Well, then she can hate a thinner, healthier you.

And I LOVE somebody else's suggestion that you offer her your clothes as they get too big for you! :thumbup: