Hi Marchies!

Bring the party to the new monthly thread!

Juli

I hear ya', SugarBear and Carol! I'm fighting the same battle--I'm right there with you. We can do this! We are doing it now and we will continue--we're going in the right direction! I haven't joined the slow losers because I just can't go there yet and admit that I'm one of "them"--I keep hoping things will change and trying different formulas to make things change. Denial? Maybe. But I just have to stay positive and know that THIS WILL WORK! And it has--just not to the degree I had hoped. But, like you said, I can't imagine what I would weigh now without the band and I do feel so much better! Good luck to all!

Good to hear from you momlambert. Just hang in there we all can do this together.

Hi everyone!

It's been a while since I've written, mostly because my life has become very chaotic. A family illness caused me to quit my job as a librarian in NJ (work that I really love) and take a minimum wage job in western NY because there are just no library jobs to be found.

As of today I have lost 197 pounds, going from my starting weight of 389 to 192 pounds. Maybe some of you who have lost 100 pounds or more can understand this...but life seems so surreal to me and has ever since the weight started coming off. I know it's me living my life and doing things but on the other hand it doesn't seem quite real. I don't "see" myself as being any thinner than 389...I hate clothes shopping and automatically grab bigger sizes and have no belief whatsoever that I could ever possibly fit into smaller sizes. I am wearing clothes now that I wore 40 pounds ago and are so baggy on me but I just am not comfortable in my own skin and it's very strange!!

I visit the gym at least a few times a week and it seems to give me the boost I need for my metabolism to get cracking. I have not had a fill yet and still have reasonable enough restriction that I usually don't overeat. I do binge at times, but certainly nothing like before and when i do feel like I've overeaten my friends look at me like i'm on mars, because i eat way less than they do... I just wish that my head would catch up to my body. I can't wrap my head around how I look now and still "feel" huge. Anyone dealing with similar issues?

My ultimate goal is to weigh 139 pounds because when i was in first grade i weighed 140 pounds and it only went up from there. With any luck I can get close to that by the end of this year. At least that's how I'm hoping to bring in 2009~ :")

virginia

Virginia

First of all sorry to hear about your chaotic life. Ick.

Second, your weight loss is amazing. You are doing very, very well.

Third, I share some of what you are talking about, with your head not caught up with your body. I don't get the big deal people make of the differences they see in me. Oh, I get that I'm smaller and I do tend to buy clothing that fits, though my work clothes (uniform) is too big, my reaction is a tempered, yeah, yeah I've lost some weight, let's talk about something else.

I spent a period of time waiting for the huge epiphany, like okay god, show me the amazing difference between before and after...I'd wake up and look at the walls of my bed room and go, yep they're the same...I'm the same.

And there's some odd balance one needs to strike between being different and that being good, because it IS good. We are healthier and stronger and able to live life more fully. But at the same time there's a need to honor the people we were before, because they are who we are and they are good and worthy. My life didn't just start when I lost the weight. I had a good and productive albeit fat existance.

I struggle with these things. And I talk to my therapist about these and other issues once a month. Keeps me sane.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f90/marchies-07-18-months-later-74728/#post982091

The September thread...

Keep talking!