Any of you ACoA's have a fixer mentality even if you are a woman, seems to be more common place in men to "fix it". Does it cause problems in your every day life? Nanook.

Yes, it does. "I'll take care of that for you" "Let me help"

"Nevermind, I'll get it"

Actually i want to "fix" people all the time. i feel worthless if i can't help someone. When i feel helpless, i eat to stuff my feelings. does this happen to people too? i am going to have the lap band done sometime in April. i am deathly afraid of the emotional eating. any advice?

That is part of the codependent nature of ACoA's.

Actually i want to "fix" people all the time. i feel worthless if i can't help someone. When i feel helpless, i eat to stuff my feelings. does this happen to people too? i am going to have the lap band done sometime in April. i am deathly afraid of the emotional eating. any advice?

Some people do well with the band, I didn't and had it removed after 14 months. I suggest you find as much info as possible as to how it's going to feel physically and emotionally to be banded to find if it's the right procedure for you. I was fat all my life and don't eat a ton of food but sometimes the ones that will keep me from losing. I'm also 49 and on many meds that affect my WL in many ways. Hopefully your surgeon can answer all your questions. Good luck to you Nancy.

The best gift you can give yourself is counseling. I learned what my triggers was, how to deal with emotional eating, and what to do in place of eating. It saved me.

Godschild: How did you find a counselor? Do you think you need one that specializes in eating disorders?