So I was out with my father today and we stopped by the post office and ran into my step-mother's mother. First let me say that that family is CRAZY! Even my father agrees, I strongly dislike them and rightfully so. Anyway, while I was in the post office my father takes it upon himself to tell her that I had the surgery last week. She questioned me about it and I told her what I could in our short conversation. She asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no, which she proceeded to shake her head yes like no was the expected answer. Because of course fat girls can't catch a man:rolleyes2:. As we were about to drive off, she sticks her boney head in the car window and tells my father that there was a reason I choose to have the surgery and started humming the wedding song. Both my father and I just laughed it off, but I was so pissed. Like the only reason to have the surgery was to get skinny, get a man and get married. What the is her problem? I hate that she thinks that, like I didn't get the surgery for my health, for my well-being, for my sanity, for normalcy, no, I only got it so I can attract a man and get married.:party: What a witch with a capital B!

Edited June 10, 200818 yr by YoungNy

Well I just turned 41 and that comment was made right to my face. Mind you, I called my wedding off just three weeks before it was scheduled and this person knew that, This person also knew that even when I was fatter I had a healthy dating life.

Nonetheless, now that I am not dating anyone, the comment to my face was, well you had the surgery to snag a man into marriage, seeing that you couldn't get one of them to commit to you before.

I responded that I would rather be alone and happy than to be miserable and married like she was.

People are so stupid and inconsiderate. I could care less about boys. I have had several people ask me if I am getting banded so I can FINALLY get a boyfriend, wtf people I had boyfriends before and I'll have them after.

Oh, that would have ticked me off too!!

you are only 23! What about having some fun first while you are thin? Geesh, what an ignorant comment! As if it was any of her business anyway!

That's ridiculous! This is also one of the reasons why I'm not publicizing my surgery plans. A lot of my friends are in serious relationships, but whenever I say things like "I don't see myself getting married anytime soon" people might assume that I will change this belief when I am skinny. HELLO?? I'm not getting married anything soon because I am TWENTY!

Wow YoungNY, what a nasty old lady!

I had a similar experience, which is actually what made me decide not to tell anyone other than close family that I was getting the band.

About 2 years ago, my fiance and I split up. He was a foreigner living in Australia, and had to go back home to Ireland when his mother got terminal cancer. I was in the middle of university and I couldn't give it up, so we did long-distance for a while but we just couldn't keep it going, and ended up splitting. Hard times.

Anyway, back in the days when I was contemplating the band, I was telling a work friend that I was thinking about it and my old manager (who is an UTTER BITCH) happened to walk past.

She said "hmm, you're thinking about lapband? Maybe if you'd done it last year, your fiance would have stayed around."

Man. I could have snapped her neck like a twig.

Anyway, so I decided that if i did go ahead with the surgery, I wouldn't tell anyone. At least, not until I was at goal. So, I am 3 months post op and the only people who know are my parents and my brother. I feel bad "editing the truth", but you just never know what people will say, or think.

Edited June 10, 200818 yr by anniedub
spelling

I'm getting the band too and I absolutely do not want to tell anyone besides my family about the surgery. But once you lose like a lot of weight don't people ask? What do you tell people?

I'm getting the band too and I absolutely do not want to tell anyone besides my family about the surgery. But once you lose like a lot of weight don't people ask? What do you tell people?

Well, basically I'm telling people that I've joined Weight Watchers (which I have - i go to a meeting once a week, which is the only time I weigh myself. I just like the support of the group). Basically, I tell them that i'm exercising more and controlling my portions.

What I selectively leave out is the fact that I have a little silicone band which is controlling my portions for me :behindsofa:

Edited June 10, 200818 yr by anniedub
spelling

I'm getting the band too and I absolutely do not want to tell anyone besides my family about the surgery. But once you lose like a lot of weight don't people ask? What do you tell people?

I haven't told but my Husband and 3 daughters and 1 close friend.

I tell people that comment on my weight loss that I have changed my eating habits to a much healthier way. I watch my portions, I eat only good for me foods. I don't eat fast food crap anymore, I cut out all sodas and sweets , due to high blood sugar. and I exercise everyday and I actually have grown to like exercising. And all of that is the truth, sure I have a tool to help me, but it doesn't do it alone.

Omg.. this is also why only my close friends know about me getting my surgery. i havent had the best dating life, but trust the band is for me. i want to be happy with wht i see in the mirror!

I'm sorry that she said that to you...however...if it wasn't that it would have been some other rude comment. For example...you had the surgery so that your husband wouldn't leave you! It's unbelievable that people feel that they can make statements like that. I'm glad that you have the support of your dad...screw the rest of them!

im 23 And Soon To Banded On June 24 By Dr Kurehi In Texas..

my step father in his unfunny humor says to me on the day of my surgery" one year to get skinny, then a man then a baby" I just told him to shut up. I really feel for you it's amazing how people can't think its possible someone wants to fix themselves for themselves and not to catch a man and produce children. but whatever that there isssue not mine.

Shoulda thrown a rock at her bony neck. :sad:

I'm so sorry to hear that you had to be subjected to that.

Granted I don't know her or her family. But what a sad thing that this woman can only measure happiness and worthiness in the fact that someone is married. As though she/you/any other woman can't be happy/successful unless she's married.

Congratulations to you that you realize your happiness is so much more than being a part of a relationship. Keep your head up high. I know I'm behind you !