First off, I apologize for this horrribly long post but I'm feeling so discouraged and disappointed and hoping some feedback might help.

This first posting I did over a month ago:

I have a big question which I hope is okay that I post here and would love some feedback (sorry I'm so wordy) because the following occurences also play a role in my fears and hesitation??? My surgeon's office staff is what I would consider less than helpful, cooperative and really bad at listening and communicating. When I left my last doctor's appointment I was told by a staff member that someone would call me to discuss surgery dates at which time I let the person know that once I was given a few date options I would need to run them by my sister (who has a really busy schedule) to see which date she is available because she will be taking me to and picking me up from the hospital. I was real clear; however, when I got home from the appointment I received a call saying congrats on your surgery date for the following Wednesday. The call took me by surprise especially since I had been extremely clear when I left the doctor's office as to what I needed to do before scheduling surgery. I told the nurse over the phone that I had yet to speak to someone regarding surgery dates at which time she told me somone would call me back. Later that afternoon I had yet to hear from anyone so I called the office back to let them know that if the week following the date the nurse has discussed with me is open I can do it that day. The person I needed to speak to was in a meeting so I left a message with the receptionist and was told she would call me back in 20 minutes. Well a week went by and I had yet to receive a call back but instead what they did do is leave a message on my machine late in the afternoon informing me that they had scheduled me for appointments the following day. Well I wasn't home until the day of the appointments so I called them back AGAIN and said that no one has gotten back to me regarding surgery dates and that someone had scheduled appointments for me that required 4 hours without even checking with me first. And the story continues with one miscommunication after the next, one more never receiving a call back or even a return of an e-mail. I've ended up feeling so upset and also concerned that if they are this poor at dealing with the stuff which I would think they are used to by now such as schedule surgery, etc. what would happen in the case of an emergency. I just feel like an office whose sole expertise is dealing with obesity and WLS should be better at what they do then this???

Second posting: Well I did change offices but kept the same doctor assuming that it was the office staff that handled things so poorly. The doctor is just a visiting doctor at the first facility and thinking it was maybe the office not the doctor I had my files transferred to his private office. I met with the doctor and he asked why I choose to switch offices. I explained to him very nicely the above info. I saw him on May 8th and much to my surprise when they weighed me I had lost 10 pounds which put my bmi at 35.1. I have several comorbidities but due to my bmi the doctor said he would need to get me in right away which was fine with me. The soonest opening was May 21st @ 9:15. I paid the difference I needed to, did all my pre-op, took care of all I needed to such as having the dog groomed, paid all my bills, bought all the supplies/food/supplements needed for pre and post-op, and moved all my stuff to my mom's because of the stairs in my home and having to care for a big dog...and oh ya, followed the pre-op liquid diet to a tee. On Monday at 4:59 I was a left a message on my machine to call the doctors office. I called the following morning, the day before surgery, and was told they had to bump me to the 28th for another patient whose surgery appointment was after mine and made after I made my appointment almost 2 weeks prior because their surgery was more complicated. I could not believe what I was hearing or feeling. I had both my mom and sister rearrange their lives for this day and they want me to ask them to do it all again for another day plus the issue of my bmi and insurance was going to now be an even more obvious issue and last, liquid for another 8 days??? Everything in my body screamed run and touched on so many personal issues of being bumped and this happening not once but twice. I felt horrible. I was exhausted from all the preparation could not get past the "oh my gosh this is happening to me again." Well, I did not have surgery on the 21st nor am I scheduled for the 28th. My heart and gut can't make peace with the treatment. I thought it was the first facility but now I wonder if it's the doctor not his staff. I need to trust the doctor and after all this all I didn't feel trust for any part of this whole thing. When things like this happen once it bad but twice...I'm at a loss and don't know what to think or do.

If anyone actually reads this horribly long posting, I thank you for taking the time because I know it's beyond long.

Thanks again,

jomarie

Jomarie..I have read your entire post and you know that's just unreal what you've gone through. I do understand that sometimes the surgery is put off a week maybe because of an emergency but, seems odd to have this happen a few times at the same office. My surgeon also does emergency surgeries but, I was fully aware of that and there is a backup team too. So he schedules the WL surgeries on certain days of the week and his partner on the other days. I don't blame you for not going through with the surgery with this doctor of yours...there are other physicians out there and I'm sure you can find another that will give you the attention you deserve. ALWAYS always always go with your gut feeling...it's your body, your decision and your life that is effected by this surgery no one elses so do what's right for you. Have you located another physician/surgeon in your area? Interview the next center prior to making the commitment to have the surgery. If there is a Bariatric center near you even better because they're specifically there for Bariatric surgery and I have found those groups have more backup for each other and quicker to respond to your questions. Good luck!

Hi:

I feel like one of the luckiest bandsters. My surgeon and his office staff and his partner (his Dad) are fabulous and they would never pull this kind of crap. If they're not supportive now they probably won't be when you need them even more - post surgery. Please do yourself a favor and find a new surgeon.

Good luck.

Sue

SherryW and Sue Magoo,

I really appreciate you both reading my long post and for your feedback. It really helps! For me, as an overweight person I have often let things slide thinking it's all I deserve and have ignored my gut when it's telling me to run. For some reason this time was different. The issue of not being supportive before pretty much is an indication of what's to come once surgery is done. Support is such a big part in this whole process. I really appreciate both of yours. I wish both of you continued success. Thanks again.

jomarie

I feel so badly for you. Just making the decision to have surgery and preparing for it is a pretty big deal for us even when everything goes the way it's supposed to. For you to have gone through all those preparations and the pre-op diet only to be bumped for a patient who was more important than you (ok that's a bit dramatic I know).... I go along with the others here who say always trust your gut. You absolutely deserve a doctor you have the utmost faith in, and, you are going to need to be able to depend on him AND his staff to be there for you in the coming months. I hate to think it might delay things even more for you but I'd think about switching doctors too. I would only go with bariatric doctors, and if possible, one who specializes in lap band. That was important for me and I think it's the best way to go. But as with everything on this board, it's all personal opinion.

Good luck to you.... you haven't been treated fairly and I hope that changes for you real fast.

Wow! That is really bad for you to be treated this way. I think I would lose all faith in a doctor and look elsewhere too. It's pretty scary to think of how you would be treated in an emergency. Keep us posted on your pland for the future.

Ok, first let me say I'm really sorry for everything you have been put through. You don't deserve it and any doctor who values his patients wouldn't treat them that way. On that note let me say, that most good things come with hard work, time and difficulty. Surgery is no different. I think we all can say we've had experiances in our banding process that has left us feeling hopeless or angry or depressed or feeling like giving up.

I personally have a similar doctors office that is horrible at calling me back. They say they will call back in half an hour and 3 days later I'm still waiting for a call. I asked for a copy of my file to be sent to me, that was almost a month ago and I still haven't gotten it. I asked for my pre-op date to be re-scheduled so I wouldn't have to take another day off from work and they said no. I had to bug my doctors to send in approval letters (one took almost 2 months to write it). I had to bug them for weeks to get them to send my file to the insurance company and once they did, no one told me. No one called to say I was approved, I had to wait to get a letter from my insurance company. All this after my first WLSurgeon told me I couldn't have a lap band, and would only do a gastric bypass.

I really don't care what hoops they make me jump through this time around. I made up my mind to have the surgery and I will have the surgery. I've talked to his previous patients and they all have good things to say (mostly) and are doing fine now with great results. He has been doing these surgeries for 20 years and I'm confident in his abilities. I refuse to let inconsiderate, rude and unorganized people control my life.

So I guess my point is yes, listen to your instincts because they are usually correct, but also, don't let a little bad buisness get in the way of your ultimate goal. Try to see things from thier point of view, they probably get dozens of patients with special needs and requests and they can't possibly cater to everyone one. They are probably busy and forget to call you back or forget your requests. Messages get lost in translation or accdentally thrown away. And emergencies like patients with more complications come up. As stressful as it is for us to do everything we need to do to get our surgeries underway, think how hard it is for the doctor and his staff to keep everybody's needs, requests, appointments, dates and situations in order.

Do what you think is right, but don't give up. You're not alone in your struggle. Hope that helps.

Jomarie,

I am shocked at the treatment...I would definately be looking for another Dr. I worry about your post-op treatment. How are they going to respond once they have your (or your ins) $$? Emergencies come up every day, but that does not mean that they have to be rude or uncaring about you. Let us know how it goes.

I am also disturbed about the lack of communication and insensitivity. Since you will probably be going back for follow up care think very hard about this surgeon. Where do you live? Some of us may be able to help you find a new one.

I would think very hard about getting a new surgeon.

I share other posters' concerns that you may be treated this way post-op as well. I had complications after surgery that required really good post-op care. You need to feel confident that you will get that if you need it.

Good luck and I am sorry you have had such a hard time!

I know it's hard to think of "starting over" but truly, if they are treating you this way pre-op you are not going to get good post-op treatment from them. And that's critical.

Is there any other bariatric surgeons in the area that you might consider switching to?

Northwest Nance, Long2BFree, YoungNY, Irish76, Stitchy, srowland2008 and Molly Molly,

First off, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my post. I'm so torn at this moment and all the feedback and support really helps. I'm trying to make sense of this whole thing, but still really confused. I don't know whether to just let this whole process go and resign myself to...it just wasn't meant to be or start over and find a new doctor. By each of your responses I saw that each one of you are in different places in your journey, I wish you all continued success. YoungNY, good luck on the 3rd. Take care and thanks again.

jomarie

jomarie - i think you should go with your gut. i had a bad feeling about my first consult, and procrastinated for over a year after that because i didn't want to start over again. be proud of yourself for taking care of yourself and find a doc you are comfortable with. where are you located? maybe you could post in your state's section and get some feedback. i wish you the very best!