I have an issue I haven't been able to discuss with anyone else but you:

You know, forever I have been fat--I can't even bring myself to say "morbidly obese"--never felt really comfortable in public situations, especially when thinner "normal" people were around. Always klutzy with my food--seemed like my built-in "shelf" caught everything!

So now I've lost weight and I even went out shopping last Friday with a friend and bought some new wonderful clothes.

So why do I still feel "fat"? I'm talking mentally--I can't get over this hump--even when I look in the mirror, it doesn't seem to be me there. And when people say "Wow, you look great", I smile and say "Thanks so much!", but it's surreal, like they are talking to someone else.

I really think I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop--for that ole weight to just start rolling back on, just like always. But I know you guys understand exactly where I'm coming from.

Surely there are others who feel the same way? :confused2:

I think you'll find that most of the people out there feel this way. The mental shift to a new body can take a very, very long time. And sometimes it never fully happens. Personally, even though I see pictures of myself, I have no real concept of what I look like. I pick up "tiny" clothes and am shocked when they fit. If you lined up a row of girls in front of me, I couldn't tell you the one I'm closest on physical weight appearance to, I have no idea.

ETA - if you could find the right search terms, you'd probably hit 100+ threads on this exact topic. So no worries, it's very far from being something you're alone with.

Congratulations on your success! It takes a while for your mental image to catch up with your real image, but it will happen! I've heard an expression for what you're describing calling it "fat goggles". I think too we're so hard on ourselves... If you saw someone else at the weight you're currently at, you'd think they look great.. but then we expect absolute perfection from ourselves.. if that makes any sense... Just keep telling yourself the truth - that you look great! Eventually you'll see it

I can relate completely !!!

This is a type of body dismorphia and can take months, sometimes years, to adjust to. I had my surgery in Nov./06, have lost over 100lbs and *still* see the same fat lady in the mirror. I can look at pictures and see the difference, I hear people remark on how wonderful I look....Heck, my dentist called me 'slim' the other day !!! I see fat....

I have no idea how long I'll see myself like this, it is getting a little better and I now have the odd glimpse of the new me. Be patient with yourself and 1 day soon you'll see yourself how others see you !!!

Patricia

11/16/06

306/202/175ish

Height - 5'11"

Congrats on your weightloss! You are doing great.

It takes time for you to see yourself as a thin person. I've been overweight most of my life except the summer before I started high school when I lost a lot of weight. It took me about a year before I saw myself as a thin person at 130 lbs and that wasn't until I saw a lot of pictures of myself that way. Then as I started getting heavy when I was about 21 and putting on considerable weight I thought I was skinny until the doctor marked my medical chart as obese when I had my son, weighing in at 210 lbs. I was totally shocked when I saw the word obese when I still thought I was thin and then it sunk in that I was fat again. Now I'm a lot more heavy now and when I get banded I'm planning on taking pictures with every 20 lbs lost so that I can see it with my eyes for comparasion and so I know that I don't ever want to get back there again.

Thanks everyone. It doesn't straighten out my mind, but I am glad to hear that I'm not the only one who's experienced/experiencing this...!

I'm going through the same thing. Infact when I went to buy a new jacket, another girl was there and she tried on a jacket that I had just put on. It didn't fit her but it did fit me but in my mind i was atleast 2x her size so I stood there for about 10mins feeling totally insane. I just kept looking at her then looking at myself in the mirror. I wasn't able to see myself as the same size or smaller than her, but hopefully I will soon.

It's a wild feeling, isn't it?!! When I was trying on clothes on Friday, I tried on a 16P pants and was flabbergasted when I could button and zip them--and this wonderful Medium shirt I saw at Sears last fall was on the reduced rack (with 60% off the reduced price even!) so I took it in the dressing room for a lark. Darned if it didn't fit--and to this minute, I have no clue how...

I look in the mirror sometimes and have to take a double take. You may want to get some counseling so you dont gain the weight back. Sometimes still feeling fat can prompt weight gain so be careful. Try and love yourself every day no matter what.

I'm the same way, and I realized this morning..

I have always had issues seeing what I 'really' looked like. I always thought I was WAY smaller than I actually was. So now that I've lost 100lbs, I'm not too impressed.. but today I figured it out. I finally LOOK like how I thought I looked 100lbs ago. So nothing wow's me for myself, when in reality, I was just a lot bigger than I saw myself.

I also totally get where your coming from, its easy to shift the weight compaired to the emotional mindframe you are in. It took me years after i lost the weight to feel comfortable with my size and realise i am no longer that person. The best way i have found it to make a scrapbook or poster and have before and after photos, even have photos with friends before you lost it and then take them again after because that way you have someone else to compare to ( not that you should feel you need to but i personally found comparing myself to other was how i snapped out of it)

Bel

I think I might have it a little bit backwards. When I was in high school 11 years ago I was a skinny minnie. No that I'm losing weight so fast, I feel like my old self. Everyone says oh you look so great let's take a picture. I feel good and skinny. Then when I look at the pic it's like a slap in the face- NOPE STILL FAT!

Like FairyFacade, I think I probably look now like I thought I looked then, lol. I never truly saw how fat I was but I must have known it on some level or I wouldnt have been banded. Its not complete denial, its just refusal to really look.

My body image *is* catching up with my body, but if you pointed out someone 5ft 10 and 155lb to me, I'd be a bit stunned I think and I'd rationalise it with "oh, they are a different body type than me though".

Some things bring it home to you, I did a fun run yesterday, and I saw a variety of fat bums stuffed into running tights (something I"ve not bought myself yet) and a lot of cellulite jiggling on some very thin thighs of some very athletic people. I thought "what am I worried about?". I'm completely and utterly normal - as distinct from perfect! - and I dont need to be ashamed.

The longer I've stayed at goal the more I'm coming to terms with my body.

Yes, it is a distorted body image. Like others, I always thought I was thinner when I was bigger and now I think I am still bigger than I am. I have been avoiding these pair of workout pants that my MIL gave me bc by the looks of them, they are too small. I put them on for fun yesterday and they are almost too big! Whoops.

Take lots of pictures, try to get acclimated to who you are now by looking at them. It takes a while and I think that all of us feel the same way.

I couldn't agree more with everyone. I'll admit, I was a bit "optimistic" on my weight before the surgery, but a few months ago I went to Abercrombie and I fit into the shirt that I liked. It BLEW my socks off. haha.

It'll all get better over time, too. :scared2:

I'm with FairyFacade. I never really saw myself as big as I really was. If I looked in the mirror, I looked a little overweight. But when I saw photographs of myself I was horrified!! Why the difference? It always confused me. Now I think I'm bigger than I am. I had some old size 18 clothes in my closet. I put off trying them on, as I thought I had a ways to go yet before they would fit. I went through them over the weekend (finally) and many of them are already to big. I missed out wearing them entirely!! I totally misjudged the reality of my size.