And my husband is being an idiot. Why? Because he's a man!

For like a year now he was wanted to buy me something (we'll call it "the thing") that I don't really want. Well - it's one of those "would be nice to have" kinds of things that I would want if I had the time to use it, but I simply don't, and won't until I'm done with my graduate program (end of this year). And it's not a cheap thing, so in the meantime it would just be sitting there collecting dust. He has used every single holiday, any type of occasion, etc. to try and justify buying me "the thing". For some reason he really wants me to have it. That is probably a combination of trying to encourage my interests and support me, and him wanting it too. He tried to buy it for me for xmas, he tried to buy it for me because I got an "A" in a class, he tried to buy it for me because I was having a bad week, etc.

My husband asked me what I want for my bday and I told him, and I think it went in one ear and out the other because he has been hinting that I'm getting "the thing". Two days ago he was hinting about it and I said, "I don't want it right now, I won't have the time to use it" and he says "Well I'll use it..." Men!

And - my husband really isn't a clever guy. He's exceptionally intelligent, don't get me wrong, but he is not witty/crafty in the way it takes to deceive someone, so I doubt he's focusing his efforts on "the thing" to try and lead me away from what he's really getting me. He's really not even the type to think about doing something like that, let alone be able to pull it off.

And my husband does not have a romantic bone in his body. The most romantic thing he has done was plan a dinner for our 10th anniversary, it was a "package" deal that he made some adjustments to so kudos on the adjustments, but -- really? And I truly think that he got the "bragging rights" from that more than pleasure at having done a good job. His friends knew about it way before I did - "Oh yeah, he's been talking about it non-stop... about how good of a job he did."

Here's an example of my husband's "romance." Because of the happenstance of my birthday, we're somehow limited to flowers, candy and jewelry as potential gifts. Well, I don't like getting flowers. I'm way too practical for that. They're expensive, roses in particular are (IMO) not that pretty, I don't care for their scent, and they all just die (yet somehow they're supposed to be a symbol of our LOVE?), so don't waste your money. And I'm not a big candy eater, especially now, and have never been a fan of chocolate. So he usually goes with jewelry, which is ok, but I'm not a big jewelry person. I always wear the same things - same hoops, same studs, same rings. My husband's idea of a "romatic" gift is to drive me to the jewelry store (always the stupid chain store at the mall, to boot) and say "pick something." Umm... what? What am I going to pick? I already have what I want, and even if I did want something else, I would want you to be at least a little bit involved, but this crap -- is no different than me just going somewhere and getting it on my own.

Now, because he has been (I'm sure) planning on buying me "the thing" and I've hopefully made it abundantly clear that I don't want it right now, I will probably either:

1) be guilt-tripped into letting him buy it for me

2) give up and tell him I want it because that's easier than dealing with man pout

2) get nothing because he's not the type to have a plan B

Getting nothing wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that it would be because he's a dill head.

My DH saw some lilies in the store (yep the grocery store!!)the other day, so picked up a bouquet for me....he had 3 people on the way out of the store ask him what he had done wrong!

And we wonder why men don't do romantic, spontaneous things--they look circumspect when they do!!!

I never questioned it, why should others??? Joking or not, men often do not respond well to ridicule like humor...maybe things like this led to the lack of romantic bones....a horrid evolution!

Kat