Hello

I have never had the lap band but I have enjoyed reading all your success stories..... very inspiring everyone!

I hope no-body becomes offended that I have entered this board and I have never had the lap band. It's just I need some advice from people who have had the band.

THE SITUATION:

A friend of mine had the band and he is afraid others will find out he has had the band. Why does he fear telling people? He has been informed by many people (who he has told about the band) that getting the band is cheating at weightloss. I SHOULD STATE I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS!

HELP PART

What should I say to comfort him, please, any advice would be great?

Here's what I have tried so far......

1. 'I know it's not cheating to use the band to lose weight.'

2. 'Tell them to call me and I will inform them that the lap band does not mean you are cheating at weight loss'

3. 'Why worry about what others think?'

4. Well, say to them, 'yer sure it is cheating and those who don't get it done are stupid because they do it the hard way. Hmmm.... why are you losing weight the hard way?' Of course, say this in a scarcastic tone.

I am sorry to impose on the board but I would appericate any advice. Once again to all those that I have offended by entering this board.....I AM SORRY!

Thanks for any advice!

First of all - welcome to LBT

I also choose not to tell everyone. Mainly bc if I want to be talked about I want to be there and get the attention.

I just think its a private thing and why even make it an issue of not telling. Just support him and lead him here to lbt. He'll find all the support he needs here. Of course there are alot of people who know I'm banded but the only one who has made a comment about it being the easy way out was my sister. I told her it is not easy - I still have to work at it, I still have to resist chips and Cookies and candy - all the junk food that made me fat - I can still eat.

So what if you keep it to yourself, its your body, your private issue and thats that.

First of all - welcome to LBT

I also choose not to tell everyone. Mainly bc if I want to be talked about I want to be there and get the attention.

I just think its a private thing and why even make it an issue of not telling. Just support him and lead him here to lbt. He'll find all the support he needs here. Of course there are alot of people who know I'm banded but the only one who has made a comment about it being the easy way out was my sister. I told her it is not easy - I still have to work at it, I still have to resist chips and Cookies and candy - all the junk food that made me fat - I can still eat.

So what if you keep it to yourself, its your body, your private issue and thats that.

Sorry......I know I am confusing! LOL

I am NOT worried about him keeping it to himself, he told lots of people until people started to say the band = cheating @ weightloss. I don't know what to say to him when people who know he has had the band say he is using the band and it is the easy way to lose weight. The advice I want is ........'what can I say to him to make him feel better when people say that he is cheating at weight loss because he has had the band?'

Thanks .......sorry about the confusion.......I hope that's clearer

I guess I'd just say -

Who are they to say its cheating? Are they banded? Why concern yourself what they think, they sound like jerks to even suggest to someone that its cheating.

I'm sorry but if people think this is cheating they just don't have a clue. Tell them that the band is a tool to weight loss, just like a treadmill or anyother weight loss tool. It wil not work unless you are eating correctly and exercising. It is plain and simple. I think it is actually the opposite. I think when you choose to get the band you are more commited to losing weight than others. Just my opinion.

I love the "But it's cheating" comments. I suppose those types think that no one should get a pacemaker, they should just eat right and exercise.

A nurse the my WLS clinic said "This is a medical issue, not an moral one", and that resonated with me.

What about the lucky people with a fast metabolism are they

cheaters???? Or thyroid problems to speed up weight lose..Some of us just are not lucky and need a little extra help.

Everyone is welcome on Lap band talk, so no need to apologize for being here. I think the best thing you could do for your friend is to send them here also. This board is full of support and advice for every issue with the band that you can think of.....including this one.

This goes back to, I've never heard someone say they thought it was 'cheating at weight loss'. That's like saying a drug addict is cheating by going to rehab. how is it 'cheating' to do something that betters your life?

All this is confusing to me.

If anyone ever tried to say they thought I was taking an easy way out or something, I'd honestly just stare at them in confusion.

if only people who made those stupid "cheating" comments new just how freakin hard this is! this is the farthest thing from the easy way out i have ever known. god lord, people piss me off!

i guess you could tell your friend to just remember that he knows how much work he is putting into his choice and he knows he isnt cheating, so everyone thats says that can jump off a cliff!

and prolly sending him here like everyone said would be a great idea too!

tell him to keep his head up, screw those downers!

Unfortunately you will never be able to convince everyone this isn't a cheaters way out. Heck, if I'm honest with myself there are still times I feel like I cheated by getting the band. But then I slap myself a few times and remember just how HARD this "easy" way has been for me and everyone else I know. The band just turns an near if not impossible task into one that is very hard but attainable. I don't think I've met one bandster that has ever felt this was easy.

For goodness sakes should a diabetic feel they are cheating by taking insulin rather than controlling it through diet & exercise alone?

I think it is awesome that you are so devoted to your friend to ask for advice on here..I wish I had friends like that. I tell people about my band, it doesn't bother me. I did it for my health!! I am 19 years old and I have been dieting since I was in the 4th grade!! It's nothing my parents did I was just an emotional eater and it got out of hand. I had high blood pressure and all. Let someone tell me that I took the easy way out cause trust me this is so much harder!! No one knows until they go through it! I didn't cheat, I had to do what I thought was best! So tell your friend to their head up and don't worry about others think because all that matters is your health, happiness, and loved ones!!

Ashley

Thanks beautiful people for all your wonderful responses!

Yes, I agree that he should join the board. I have informed him of this board but he does not want to join.

As for people saying he cheated by having the band...... people talk cow poo and of course most people do have the mind set that the 'grass is always greener over the other side of the fence'. Know what I mean?

I think at some level he is a bit ashamed about having the band. I cannot understand it (I have never had the band) so I do not understand the feelings that come with it, however, reading the posts on this forum has given me a greater understanding about feelings associated with having the band. For this, I thank each and everyone of you that post.

Thanks for your replies and advice...... you are all wonderful.

The notion of cheating when it comes to the issue of losing weight strikes me as being utterly bizarre. Losing weight is very, very difficult and life for a fatty is also very, very difficult. No fat person wants to be fat or enjoys being fat and yet there are so many of us. This would indicate that there is a large group of people for whom diet and excercise alone do not work. Obesity is a medical issue, not a moral one. The band is merely a tool which assists us in losing weight. Most people who have had weight loss surgery have tried, over and over again, to lose weight by the more conventional methods and have repeatedly failed.

Diabetics take insulin and this is not cheating. Depressives take antidepressants and this is not cheating. In just such a way the band is not cheating. To maintain that it is cheating is just mean-spirited and ignorant.

I saw this thread and thought you might find it helpful.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/easy-way-out-49084/

I saw this thread and thought you might find it helpful.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/easy-way-out-49084/

Thanks everyone for the GREAT responses!

Thanks SuzanneG for the link.......that's great!

I now know the approach I can use to comfort him and if the occassion arises I know what to say to defend him if others say he is ceating @weightloss by having the band.

I used Nicabate gum to give up smoking.......I am going to cite examples from my life and ask if it's cheating! See, I am using your ideas...... thanks so much for the help!

I record calories to control my weight, is that cheating?

I understand (THANKS TO EVERYONE HERE) how to defend him now and comfort him.

I THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! :clap2:

I have informed him of this board but he does not want to join.

Additionally, thank you for help me even though I have never had the band. I expected to get told to get off the board and the responses I got were so different.....You are all so inspiring and amazing!