I just had the worst uh uh moment(definately NOT an A ha).

Snapped a few before shots. Clothed and disrobed. Threw them into photoshop to change file sizes and strategically black out certain areas when I found myself astonished at the size of my ARSE!!

Then front then side views made me sad.

When did this happen!

When I walk around in my daily life I do NOT SEE myself like this.

:omg:

Freaked me out a little bit. I'll use it as it should be used, motivation.

Susan

PS I hate my BATWINGS.........

I understand When I would get dressed up to go out with DH I would feel so good about how I looked and felt thin. Then I would see pictures from the event and it would be disgusting. How could I possibly have thought that I looked good??!?! I HATE pictures and really still do. I felt REALLY good at the Christmas party wearing something 3 sizes smaller and then I see the picture of us and I LOOK HUGE!!

I don't understand why our heads play tricks on us. I can walk by my mirror and think "I am really starting to look good" then I can walk by in 15 minutes (in the same outfit) and think "God I'm fat; I'm never going to be thin"

crazy crazy Hugs to you!

wombat

I definately understand that feeling. I have watched myself over the past 2 years gain 70 pounds and think will this ever stop. But I also know that I had some major stressers going on in my life.

The one I deal with most often is the death in 1988 of our son Adam who was 4 1/2 to cancer. The most recent my husband was deployed to Iraq and those months he was gone I ate and ate and ate to stop the pain. I ate all of the wrong foods, I was not cooking, why would I just for me, it was easier to pick up fast food. It should not be called FAST FOOD it is FAT ARSES that is what it should be called...LOL

I am fearful because I am doing well now but I am looking at another deployment in May and I am wondering how I am going to handle him being gone this time, he has been my ROCK since deciding to get my BAND!!

I also have experienced the same. I use to be thin until I was around 23. I started using Depo Provera shots for birth control and blew up and didn't even realize. Ever since, I have continually gained, even after stopping the shots after 1 year. I guess I feel like I was a reversed anorexic. I would look in the mirror and not realize how fat I had really gotten. Like you, after seeing photos I realized how fat I really look. Now I don't like my picture taken and if someone snaps a photo of me, I destroy it if I am able too. Looking forward to being the thin person I once was and feeling the way I used to feel.

Yes, I do believe we suffer from a dysmorphic body image. We think we look ok and then we see a photo of ourselves and can'te believe waht we see in the photo. I find it very interesting, in a sick kind of way.

Kristin, I know it's been a long time, but my sympathy on the loss of your son. I'm sure it's something you never get over.

Also, I want to thank you and your husband for the sacrifices you've made serving our country.

We are both November bandsters. Great job on your weight loss. I'm losing kind of slow, but hey the scale went down. Next fill on Thurs and boy do I need it.

When your husband is deployed again, the months away that he won't see you will be hard, but think of the dramatic change in you he'll see when he gets back. That will be so exciting.

Thank you Shortgal I know you are right.....It will be exciting and I am thrilled to know that. I just hope that I have the strength to not turn back to food for comfort while he is away this time.....keeping my fingers crossed for that strength.

And you are right it is no easier today than it was 20 years ago. I miss him each and every day. He was diagnosed on Christmas Day 1987.... it makes the holidays very difficult......but my two grandsons have helped immensly with that pain....one of them bears his name...:scared:

Congrats on your own VICTORY, any loss is a Great Loss don't forget it!!

Hugz,

fast food. It should not be called FAST FOOD it is FAT ARSES that is what it should be called...LOL

Firstly, PLEASE thank your DH for me for his service. I truly appreciate anyone in the armed forces.

I agree about fast food.

There's a commercial now and ordering at the drive thru(one of the WORST conveniences for US citizens imo) they are asking for things like "double bubble butt"...etc. Makes me laugh.

I was SO irked by that picture that I have become a picture taking fool today. I am MAKING myself get into pictures. I don't hate ME, just the way I look. I am still ME no matter what size. Although I will be happy when my outsides look different I want a lot of pics as a record of a place I do not ever want to be again.

About your support. Do you live on base? I know, only from observation that military spouses form strong bonds. Do you have any other military wives around you?

Susan

PS

NOT looking forward to company tonight. Due any moment. I'm hiding in the den. There are too many bad food choices out here tonight.

My SIL will also be coming over and I do not want to get into it with her tonight!