We've all heard about addiction transfer, in OTHER people. Well I am beginning to feel it and I don't like it too much. Shopping has been a great deal of fun as I lost weight and could buy cool new clothes and shoes. But I think it has gotten a bit out of hand. I find myself shopping way too much and for things I don't need or really even want.

So while I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions (except as a another promise that will be broken), I will strive to break this expensive habit of mine in 2008. Yes you read correctly, 2008. I have 3 days of freedom left.

I'm not going to tell this to my DH, as I don't want him to try and police my spending. That would just send me right out to the malls. If it becomes necessary I will talk to a therapist to get past this. I hope for some sound advice here instead.

Has anyone else had some type of addiction transfer after losing weight? We can't volume eat for stress relief anymore - and we all cope differently. I would sure appreciate your comments and experiences before I go broke!

You bet it's real. I know several people who are now alcoholics.

We are used to stuffing our face instead of facing feelings. You should consider seeing a therapist now, rather than later. It would be better to learn to cope rather than a year from now, having all your credit cards maxed out, etc.

Sad but true considering I barely drank before banded, which is why I jokingly call myself the town drunk. My Mexican doctors encouraged booze and said it was fine to drink with the band and playfully offered tequila instead of pain med. Band surgeons used to (do they still?) host huge drinking bashes for their patients. I knew better but still, liquid went down so easy that I found myself drinking things I never drank before.

You bet it's real. I know several people who are now alcoholics.

We are used to stuffing our face instead of facing feelings. You should consider seeing a therapist now, rather than later. It would be better to learn to cope rather than a year from now, having all your credit cards maxed out, etc.

I agree, I have a friend who became an alcoholic after her rny. I think that is one of the many reasons why my doc stresses walking (or some other type of work out) daily. Wouldn't it be great if it was just as easy to focus that energy on something positive?

My addiction transfer is alcohol. My goal now is to not drink during the week and allow myself 2 drinks on Friday and Saturday. So far it is working.

I have always loved to shop and now that I have lost weight and have had a face lift and have inherited money it became even more fun but I believe that I am finally hitting the wall with this particular recreation. I have recently been finding that although I still enjoy looking I am not too interested in buying anymore. :faint: Finally!!! :whoo:This is because I like the stuff I already have as much as or better than any of the stuff that I am seeing in the stores.

My mate and I went out for lunch and a little recreational shopping yesterday - he likes to shop, too - and all I came home with was an arm load of books which were on sale. This was after looking at clothes, boots, bags, belts, etc. My husband bought himself some dark chocolate.

We actually found ourselves whining to each other that everything looked the same and that there was nothing new to buy! :phanvan

Dealing with alcohol has always been an issue for me. I am a depressive and we do tend to want to self-medicate whenever we are feeling lousy. :help:

I have always loved to shop and now that I have lost weight and have had a face lift and have inherited money it became even more fun but I believe that I am finally hitting the wall with this particular recreation. I have recently been finding that although I still enjoy looking I am not too interested in buying anymore. :faint: Finally!!! :whoo:This is because I like the stuff I already have as much as or better than any of the stuff that I am seeing in the stores.

My mate and I went out for lunch and a little recreational shopping yesterday - he likes to shop, too - and all I came home with was an arm load of books which were on sale. This was after looking at clothes, boots, bags, belts, etc. My husband bought himself some dark chocolate.

We actually found ourselves whining to each other that everything looked the same and that there was nothing new to buy! :phanvan

Dealing with alcohol has always been an issue for me. I am a depressive and we do tend to want to self-medicate whenever we are feeling lousy. :help:

Ya know, it's possible that I am hitting that wall. My husband hasn't touched alcohol in over 11 years, so I don't drink anymore except on the rare occasion with dinner out. So that is a blessing for me, because I could easily see myself going down that path.

I likely will do the therapy and learn some tools for focusing in a positive direction. I think it's time for me to start wearing some of those clothes in closet, instead of the sweats and junk at home. Hubby might even like it!

I am so thankful for support forums - you guys understand where my hubby could not. He is a super fit, health nut, who has it all together. And he loves me anyway - woohoo!

You bet it's real. I know several people who are now alcoholics.

We are used to stuffing our face instead of facing feelings. You should consider seeing a therapist now, rather than later. It would be better to learn to cope rather than a year from now, having all your credit cards maxed out, etc.

Denise, you are right. Years and years ago, in a prior and horrible marriage, I filed bankruptcy. I NEVER want to go there again! Life is good in so many ways now and I need to be cautious and keep it that way. Thanks!

"We can't volume eat for stress relief anymore"

"Transfer" may be one way to describe it....IMHO it's the same thing by another name....willful and knowing headstrong break from the laws of natural order. The capacity to behavior not in our own interests. The undisciplined response to one stimulus by an inappropriate unrelated manner.....no other creature on Earth over eats and over drinks day after day after day for decades.....

My theory has become less forgiving of my own past deeds, and I consider much of my life wasted in the pursuit of such addictive practicies. Whatever the truth may be, over consumption of any kind decreases our creative, adaptive, and joyous expression of our lives.

Wow - that is very thought-provoking. Thanks.

I agree, I have a friend who became an alcoholic after her rny. I think that is one of the many reasons why my doc stresses walking (or some other type of work out) daily. Wouldn't it be great if it was just as easy to focus that energy on something positive?

Yes and I need to pull out my books by the Dali Lama - I learn something new every time I read them.

I have been hiding behind my weight and other OCDs since I was a child and have kept transfering from one to another so that now at 52, I feel I too have wasted much of my life. I can see my destructive behaviour as I have worked on it for the last 20+ years but seeing it and changing it are 2 very different things. I have had many good things in my life over the years but always came back to this place to feel safe but it wasn't safe, it was the place where I was destroying myself with food, sex, gambling (even exercise or any other interest I happened to take up went into OCD mode). I have matured now and am trying not to go with my impulses but it is still hard sometimes. On a positive note, I have lost 29 lbs and look forward to getting the rest of my weight off... so I will continue to exercise and get back into my life with gusto... 52 going on 35! :whoo::whoo:

I have been hiding behind my weight and other OCDs since I was a child and have kept transfering from one to another so that now at 52, I feel I too have wasted much of my life. I can see my destructive behaviour as I have worked on it for the last 20+ years but seeing it and changing it are 2 very different things. I have had many good things in my life over the years but always came back to this place to feel safe but it wasn't safe, it was the place where I was destroying myself with food, sex, gambling (even exercise or any other interest I happened to take up went into OCD mode). I have matured now and am trying not to go with my impulses but it is still hard sometimes. On a positive note, I have lost 29 lbs and look forward to getting the rest of my weight off... so I will continue to exercise and get back into my life with gusto... 52 going on 35! :whoo::whoo:

What???? Sex is bad???? I thought Sex was exercise!

Ya know, it's possible that I am hitting that wall. My husband hasn't touched alcohol in over 11 years, so I don't drink anymore except on the rare occasion with dinner out. So that is a blessing for me, because I could easily see myself going down that path.

I likely will do the therapy and learn some tools for focusing in a positive direction. I think it's time for me to start wearing some of those clothes in closet, instead of the sweats and junk at home. Hubby might even like it!

I am so thankful for support forums - you guys understand where my hubby could not. He is a super fit, health nut, who has it all together. And he loves me anyway - woohoo!

Grrl, I understand what you are saying. This forum has been and still is my life line, too.

Do try to wear more nice at home. You can easily do this and it will make you feel very fine about yourself.

I am now at goal and I have recently had my face reno-ed. I am also retired. This means that I am at home most of the time but I do make a point of wearing cute slobby comfortable clothes. This means nothing in pink, baby blue and certainly nothing with a stripe up the pant leg.

I am a winter and so I mostly wear black, white, grey, and jeans. Sometimes I will wear a white or black top and a loose and colourful skirt or colourful baggy pants when I am doing nothing. My husband likes to see me in a skirt and he likes seeing me in colourful baggy pants. Usually I wear jeans or leggings.

The trick is to discover what colours really do suit you and stick to those. I see far too many women (and men) opting to stick to the so-called safe colours which in truth don't necessarily look nice. The truth is that brown, beige, orange, marroon, baby blue and baby pink don't look very nice on most people.

You can either pay to have your colours done or you can do it the cheap way; you can bring a gang of your closest friends shopping with you and you can hold various colours up to your face and ask them for their reactions. I still do this when I am shopping.

And if you love colours which look lousy on you, well, do what I do: wear them as accessories. I am a winter. I can't wear colours. This is why I wear colourful pants, socks, pants, shoes, gloves, and carry colourful bags. I just gotta keep colour away from my face is all.

This has been an awfully long post but the point of it is that the mechanics of being a slob and yet still looking great are fairly simple to master, I believe. By the way, I guess my only street cred for sounding like a know it all is that I used to live in France, for what that's worth. :phanvan Apart from that, well, my husband is nine years younger than I am, he dotes on me, and he has always been the babe in our couple.

Have fun looking great and understand that this does not hinge upon extreme make-up and important clothes. You can do this all the time and in the privacy of your own home, ya know.

Grrl, I understand what you are saying. This forum has been and still is my life line, too.

Do try to wear more nice at home. You can easily do this and it will make you feel very fine about yourself.

I am now at goal and I have recently had my face reno-ed. I am also retired. This means that I am at home most of the time but I do make a point of wearing cute slobby comfortable clothes. This means nothing in pink, baby blue and certainly nothing with a stripe up the pant leg.

I am a winter and so I mostly wear black, white, grey, and jeans. Sometimes I will wear a white or black top and a loose and colourful skirt or colourful baggy pants when I am doing nothing. My husband likes to see me in a skirt and he likes seeing me in colourful baggy pants. Usually I wear jeans or leggings.

The trick is to discover what colours really do suit you and stick to those. I see far too many women (and men) opting to stick to the so-called safe colours which in truth don't necessarily look nice. The truth is that brown, beige, orange, marroon, baby blue and baby pink don't look very nice on most people.

You can either pay to have your colours done or you can do it the cheap way; you can bring a gang of your closest friends shopping with you and you can hold various colours up to your face and ask them for their reactions. I still do this when I am shopping.

And if you love colours which look lousy on you, well, do what I do: wear them as accessories. I am a winter. I can't wear colours. This is why I wear colourful pants, socks, pants, shoes, gloves, and carry colourful bags. I just gotta keep colour away from my face is all.

This has been an awfully long post but the point of it is that the mechanics of being a slob and yet still looking great are fairly simple to master, I believe. By the way, I guess my only street cred for sounding like a know it all is that I used to live in France, for what that's worth. :phanvan Apart from that, well, my husband is nine years younger than I am, he dotes on me, and he has always been the babe in our couple.

Have fun looking great and understand that this does not hinge upon extreme make-up and important clothes. You can do this all the time and in the privacy of your own home, ya know.

Oh I do love younger men! Mine is 6 years younger than me. For years my closet was full of BLACK. To hide my size? And I really thought that worked? BAHAHAHAHAHA!

I am also learning to accessorize, which can really make the look.

It is true that those of us who are winters do have an advantage in so far that black, white and grey can easily be accessorised with just about anything and these colours always do look chic if handled properly. On the other hand, not all folks look great wearing black and white. My mum-in-law and one of my closest grrl friends, anotha blondie, look awful in black. They look sallow and close to death.

This particular grrlfiend (har har) is often mistaken as my sister by the folks in my ethnically diverse neighbourhood but apart for our age and our weight issues and our shared sense of bitchery we have few things in common. We wear our lard differently. And she is a grrl who can, much to her horror, wear maroon, pastels, cream, navy blue - and will look utterly deathlike in white and black. Of course black and white do tend to be the standard downtown urban colours. And of course Green, that is to say me, did squeal "ohmigawd, those are Walmart colours!" The poor kid wept along with me myself about this biz.

On the other hand, because I am a reddish blonde people tend to assume that I will look fab in fall colours. I don't and so I find myself palming off really nice stuff which looks pretty damn nasty on me. I did have a friend, a true brunette with dark eyes and a pale skin who was a true autumn.

Goes to show that you never can tell what will look good without doing a little bit of dragging swatches of material up to your face and getting your friends to react to this.

My ma-in-law is also a child of the fall.

What???? Sex is bad???? I thought Sex was exercise! :Banane20:

Of course it was never bad sex when I was involved !! :cheated: Picking up strangers on a regular basis I consider bad sex, especially in my early 30s. Gave that up and turned to gambling, so from one to another. My fear of being slim is that I can turn to that type of behaviour again. I am mature enough now not to get caught up in it again, at least not to the same degree but the fear is still there.

PS: I have never been married and am currently single.