Since 2014 I have been gaining weight. I've gained 75 pounds. I was 150 at 5'7 inches tall and at that time I was relatively inactive but ate normally.

A decade later I'm 225 and 34 and have not been able to lose. I cut out sugar, I joined a gym and got a dietician three years ago. I have still gained ten pounds per year. I've been tested for PCOS, Cushing's and Thyroid disorders and they have found no evidence. I eat less now than I did ten years ago.

I love in Canada and rely on government healthcare. They won't approve me for gastric bypass. They gave me ozempic last year and it was a nightmare and worsened my IBS. I didn't lose weight I gained another 12 pounds on that drug.

I'm out of options.

This has basically destroyed my life. I haven't dated in ten years. Tried to commit suicide twice three years ago. The weight gain never stops. It's awful. I'm not doing it to myself. I don't over eat. I exercise, I go to the gym, I don't eat sugar and I just butt. It's a cruel joke this life.

Edited October 31, 20241 yr by Calliegerl

2 hours ago, Calliegerl said:

lve in Canada and rely on government healthcare. They won't approve me for gastric bypass.

based on your height and weight, your BMI is 35.2. if you have 2 comorbities, you would qualify for WLS in Ontario. what province do you reside in?

You definitely have a serious issue, but I don't think it's your weight. Your weight isn't going to kill you, at least not at the size you are right now, but your mental health might. And it certainly is robbing you of the joy in life that you deserve to experience. That's tragic. And unfortunately, surgery or weight loss isn't a cure.

Gaining weight can take a toll, both mentally and physically. I understand, because I went from 5'6" and 127 lbs at age 16 to weighing 225 lbs by age 32 and hitting 250 lbs by 49. I tried many diets. I exercised. I worked with a dietician for about 7 years and tried many medications, including Saxenda and Wegovy. I developed high blood pressure and became prediabetic.

For 33 years, I gained weight, lost a bit for a while, and kept gaining more. But I also lived a fairly happy life. I got married, bought a house, had two children, started a career I enjoyed, traveled to lots of places I had always wanted to see, learned new hobbies, spent time with friends and loved ones. Was I frustrated that I had to buy clothing in the plus department? Yes. Did I sometimes look in the mirror and feel sad at how I looked? Absolutely. But that wasn't my identity and it didn't dictate what I allowed myself to do or experience.

Feeling like your life is destroyed, that life is a cruel joke, and reaching a point where you do not wish to continue living is an extreme and unhealthy reaction to gaining weight. It's a huge red flag that something else is going on with your mental health. That, in my opinion, is way more pressing to take care of right now than reducing the size of your body.

I had surgery because I knew it was what I needed for my health. It would clear up physical issues and help me live a longer life with more activity and less pain. I did it because I loved myself and I knew I deserved to get every ounce of joy from life that I could. But a year ago, 80 lbs heavier than now, I loved myself exactly as much as I do today. I don't love myself any more now because I'm thinner, even though I do love how I look. And I love myself now way more than I probably did when I was downright skinny in my youth. There's no magic number on the scale that makes you worth loving. You're worth that at every size, shape, and age.

I'm not saying to give up on losing weight or on getting weight loss surgery. If it's important to you, you can find a way. There are some amazing and affordable self-pay surgery options available in Mexico, for example. You could start saving a little bit of money each month now if it feels worth it to you. I hope this won't happen, but if you continue to gain weight, you will eventually qualify for surgery through your health care. In the US, it's at a 35 BMI with comorbidities and at a 40 BMI based on obesity alone. I assume the standards in Canada are similar.

But no matter what you do, I would encourage you to find help with your mental health and self-image. You deserve to be happy with who you are and not to have how you feel about yourself be based primarily on something as arbitrary as a number on the scale or the tag inside your jeans.

17 hours ago, NickelChip said:

You definitely have a serious issue, but I don't think it's your weight. Your weight isn't going to kill you, at least not at the size you are right now, but your mental health might. And it certainly is robbing you of the joy in life that you deserve to experience. That's tragic. And unfortunately, surgery or weight loss isn't a cure.

Gaining weight can take a toll, both mentally and physically. I understand, because I went from 5'6" and 127 lbs at age 16 to weighing 225 lbs by age 32 and hitting 250 lbs by 49. I tried many diets. I exercised. I worked with a dietician for about 7 years and tried many medications, including Saxenda and Wegovy. I developed high blood pressure and became prediabetic.

For 33 years, I gained weight, lost a bit for a while, and kept gaining more. But I also lived a fairly happy life. I got married, bought a house, had two children, started a career I enjoyed, traveled to lots of places I had always wanted to see, learned new hobbies, spent time with friends and loved ones. Was I frustrated that I had to buy clothing in the plus department? Yes. Did I sometimes look in the mirror and feel sad at how I looked? Absolutely. But that wasn't my identity and it didn't dictate what I allowed myself to do or experience.

Feeling like your life is destroyed, that life is a cruel joke, and reaching a point where you do not wish to continue living is an extreme and unhealthy reaction to gaining weight. It's a huge red flag that something else is going on with your mental health. That, in my opinion, is way more pressing to take care of right now than reducing the size of your body.

I had surgery because I knew it was what I needed for my health. It would clear up physical issues and help me live a longer life with more activity and less pain. I did it because I loved myself and I knew I deserved to get every ounce of joy from life that I could. But a year ago, 80 lbs heavier than now, I loved myself exactly as much as I do today. I don't love myself any more now because I'm thinner, even though I do love how I look. And I love myself now way more than I probably did when I was downright skinny in my youth. There's no magic number on the scale that makes you worth loving. You're worth that at every size, shape, and age.

I'm not saying to give up on losing weight or on getting weight loss surgery. If it's important to you, you can find a way. There are some amazing and affordable self-pay surgery options available in Mexico, for example. You could start saving a little bit of money each month now if it feels worth it to you. I hope this won't happen, but if you continue to gain weight, you will eventually qualify for surgery through your health care. In the US, it's at a 35 BMI with comorbidities and at a 40 BMI based on obesity alone. I assume the standards in Canada are similar.

But no matter what you do, I would encourage you to find help with your mental health and self-image. You deserve to be happy with who you are and not to have how you feel about yourself be based primarily on something as arbitrary as a number on the scale or the tag inside your jeans.

It's very hard to get mental health help in Canada. It's not included in our government plan and it's expensive. I don't have a good job either so I don't have those kinds of benefits.

I tried an antidepressant in 2018 and it did not alleviate any of what I was dealing with.

Psychotherapy is a fortune. I can't afford that.

3 hours ago, Calliegerl said:

It's very hard to get mental health help in Canada. It's not included in our government plan and it's expensive. I don't have a good job either so I don't have those kinds of benefits.

I tried an antidepressant in 2018 and it did not alleviate any of what I was dealing with.

Psychotherapy is a fortune. I can't afford that.

Taking care of your mental health doesn't have to cost money. You can talk openly with trusted friends or family about your body image issues and low self-esteem. Or you can post here in this forum where you will find hundreds of people who share a lived experience of navigating the world in larger bodies. You can heck self-help books out of the library. Or buy a notebook from the dollar store and start journaling about your thoughts. You can meditate with the help of free YouTube videos. Or listen to relevant podcasts.

You can find free sources of help if it's important to you and you want to make a change. Then again, I don't know you, so I could be completely misreading the situation. You can ignore this advice if you think I'm wrong, or if you just don't think anything I've suggested is worth trying. But after reading your original post, I thought it was important to say that if you can't immediately reverse your weight gain, it doesn't mean your life can't be really good.

5 hours ago, Calliegerl said:

It's very hard to get mental health help in Canada. It's not included in our government plan and it's expensive. I don't have a good job either so I don't have those kinds of benefits.

I tried an antidepressant in 2018 and it did not alleviate any of what I was dealing with.

Psychotherapy is a fortune. I can't afford that.

hiya ❤️

can i give you a tip? i'm in ontario and we can get psychiatric appointments covered by provincial health insurance (NOT psychotherapist though...there is a difference: psychiatrists are certified doctors, psychotTHERAPISTS are not), so if you go to your family doctor and request to get referred to a psychiatrist, and are approved, you will not have to pay anything out of pocket.

good luck!

55 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

hiya ❤️

can i give you a tip? i'm in ontario and we can get psychiatric appointments covered by provincial health insurance (NOT psychotherapist though...there is a difference: psychiatrists are certified doctors, psychotTHERAPISTS are not), so if you go to your family doctor and request to get referred to a psychiatrist, and are approved, you will not have to pay anything out of pocket.

good luck!

This is interesting! Here in the US, therapists have to have specific college degrees and be licensed in order to do the talk therapy. Psychiatrists are pretty much the same except they have longer school and specialty training for the meds. Psychiatrists don't do talk therapy. The appointments are usually 15-20 minutes and it's really just checking in about the meds, side effects, make sure they're helping, and make any adjustments/changes as needed. Therapist appointments are usually an hour and they do talking, coping techniques, journaling, etc... And both are covered by the government insurance (Medicaid) here.

5 hours ago, ms.sss said:

hiya ❤️

can i give you a tip? i'm in ontario and we can get psychiatric appointments covered by provincial health insurance (NOT psychotherapist though...there is a difference: psychiatrists are certified doctors, psychotTHERAPISTS are not), so if you go to your family doctor and request to get referred to a psychiatrist, and are approved, you will not have to pay anything out of pocket.

good luck!

I'm in Ontario. I have been asked to be referred and went to CMHA and was shown the door. Waiting list are long and they don't tend to work with low priority individuals ("only the most severe cases of mental illness" the woman told me). So it's not happening.

hmmm...maybe because CAMH is high demand/high level cases? ??‍♀️

back in 2016 i was able to get an appt with one at Markham-Stouffville hosptial within 1 week of refferal.

last year, my daughter was able to get an appt with Mackenzie Health (in Richmond Hill) within a month...and this location is probably the CAMH equivalent in york region (my words, not anyone elses! lol)

neither of us would i consider to be one of the "most severe cases of mental health" (but we did each get a referral from our family doc).

anyway, maybe check it out...IF YOU WANT TO...i don't want to come off as pressuring you to do something you don't really want to do!

whatever you decide to do (or even if you don't do anything at all), hope you find a way to get some peace.

5 hours ago, SleeveToBypass2023 said:

This is interesting! Here in the US, therapists have to have specific college degrees and be licensed in order to do the talk therapy.

kinda the same here, i guess: therapists can be licensed by going to college and getting an undergraduate diploma, while psychiatrists are university educated getting a degree, plus further post secondary studies and degree(s)...the get the "doctor" designation. main diff in services provided as i see it is that the latter can prescribe meds while the former cannot, everything else seems the same/similar.

note aside: i think "college" has a different meaning in Canada vs. the US....in the US, i believe colleges are just as prestigious/difficult to get into as universities, yes? up here, "colleges" are more like a hands-on/trade type institutions of learning, that have lower requirements for acceptance. the instructors at colleges have less education backgrounds than the professors at universities. its (much, much) cheaper to go to college here than university and the diplomas granted take less time to achieve than the degrees granted at universities. is the education "better" at universities? honestly, i dunno...but it looks better on resumes. ??‍♀️

21 hours ago, ms.sss said:

kinda the same here, i guess: therapists can be licensed by going to college and getting an undergraduate diploma, while psychiatrists are university educated getting a degree, plus further post secondary studies and degree(s)...the get the "doctor" designation. main diff in services provided as i see it is that the latter can prescribe meds while the former cannot, everything else seems the same/similar.

note aside: i think "college" has a different meaning in Canada vs. the US....in the US, i believe colleges are just as prestigious/difficult to get into as universities, yes? up here, "colleges" are more like a hands-on/trade type institutions of learning, that have lower requirements for acceptance. the instructors at colleges have less education backgrounds than the professors at universities. its (much, much) cheaper to go to college here than university and the diplomas granted take less time to achieve than the degrees granted at universities. is the education "better" at universities? honestly, i dunno...but it looks better on resumes. ??‍♀️

So in the US, trade schools typically give a certificate or diploma. The words college and university are used interchangeably. Also in the US, employers just want to see some kind of post high school education. I have an Associate's degree (2 year degree) and a clinical medical assistant diploma as well as several licenses and certifications. And I can pretty much choose where I want to work. My medical assistant diploma took me a year to get and was taught by a lead medical assistant with 20 years experience. My Associate's degree came from Denver Community College. I'm working on my Bachelor's in Public Health (9 classes to go) and I'm doing that online through American Public University.