Hey,

I'm about 6 months out from my sleeve. I've lost about 90lbs from my surgery date. I have been working out and eating my best. However, my life has changed dramatically in the last 2 months. So it was already difficult to find time to workout. I felt like my weight-loss goals were starting to be pushed back for other obligations such as my new job, my kiddos sports schedules, summer break, and such. So finding the motivation at 5am or at 10pm to workout was tough but I was doing it. Then about 2 weeks ago, my husband and I got into an argument. He confesses that he isn't attracted to me and never was. He said he loves me for other reasons and he was emotionally invested before we met in person. We've been together since 2007. I know I should be working out and losing weight for myself and my kids but I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. All my motivation is gone. Why workout if the man you'll be with forever isn't satisfied either way? I feel heartbroken and betrayed. Am I being too dramatic or shallow?

Thanks for the support, advice, and encouragement from all of you. I haven't decided what I'm going to do from here yet. I'm trying to let my emotions settle before making any drastic decisions. I have a lot to think about. I just wish I could tell myself that his opinion doesn't matter and I wanna do this for me. However, I can't shake it and I'm hurting. I'm drained. However, I did workout this morning before work. I think it's even harder when he is home because I can't even look at him. We are very involved in our church and that is also making things harder because I don't know how to proceed with that in mind either. And my whole family thinks my husband is amazing so I just feel alone.

Hmmm... You have 4 kids. Clearly there's enough attraction for him to be able to make babies...

Nevertheless, he's saying inappropriate things and you are getting angry and resentful. Thankfully, these are things that can be worked on.

I see you mentioned that you go to church. Perhaps you can utilize your pastor for marriage counseling?

1 minute ago, Jeanniebug said:

Hmmm... You have 4 kids. Clearly there's enough attraction for him to be able to make babies...

Nevertheless, he's saying inappropriate things and you are getting angry and resentful. Thankfully, these are things that can be worked on.

I see you mentioned that you go to church. Perhaps you can utilize your pastor for marriage counseling?

I was thinking the same thing about going to the pastor for counseling. However, you also said you're very involved in your church, and I know from experience that it can be hard to admit there is something going on. So perhaps, maybe there is another church that you could seek counseling from if y'all are not wanting to share with your own house. Just a thought. Also, Focus on the Family has great resources for counseling, advice and articles.

I know your head is still reeling from this. And I think you are very wise to wait until emotions calm down to talk.

Many prayer for you all.