So for many years I droned on with life like one of those bees, just doing my job. Day in, day out, mom, wife, life just happened. I've been heavy since I was 18, but my weight got really high after I was in a head-on collision with a drunk driver at age 19 in my first year of marriage, and it took me that first year to walk unaided again. My new hubby? Well, his culinary highlights were hamburger helper and spaghetti-os in red solo cups (so he could avoid dishes, of course!). It took 2 months to wheel my chair into the kitchen and take back over, but I was determined! Of course, limitations and a diet that was never stellar to begin with didn't leave us with super healthy meals.

By 2001 I was 240 pounds. Then I had 2 kids by age 25, getting to 270. I was a lazy stay at home mom of course, ha! I kid! No, wait, that was 2 kids! Seriously, they were 2 1/2 years apart, there was no time to be lazy. I dieted, I ran around mom'ing... but I was locked in that oh so familiar spiral of lose some and gain more.

Then both my kids hit middle school, I went back to work at their school, and I got EVEN HEAVIER! I hit my highest weight of 324, and my body started to make daily life difficult. The hardware in my shattered leg is painful. The torn disc acted up. The plantar fasciitis was murder. I was sick endlessly (Okay, that's mostly the school germs, kids are GROSS!). So I started tracking my food and exercise. I saw my doc. I went on phentermine. I lost 70 pounds. I regained 20 but stopped there for 9 months, unable to lose but not regaining it all back. A minor victory, hoorah! I tried phentermine again paired with walking a 5k every day before work. I lost 10, but it stopped working after a week.

My doctor, who I've seen since that fateful car accident, kept suggesting surgery. I kept putting it off. Money. Fear of crappy doctors who don't listen to me when I know my body best, anesthesia, and having to take pain meds I don't want. Money. Well, I doubled up my insurance, decided to woman up--helped by my best friend going through the same program a year and half ago--and I made an initial foray into the surgery world.

Well, it might have taken me 19 years to get to this point (half my life!) but I was shocked at how easy this process has been. I saw the nurse twice, then a psychologist and the nutritionist once between Nov. 20th and Jan. 2nd. I had to wait for January for my new primary insurance to kick in, but they accepted my past appointments and both insurances don't have any mandatory time or weight loss... seriously, jaw dropped. Saw the surgeon on Jan. 29th, and he scheduled me for an endoscopy March. 2nd. That's my last hurdle, beyond changing one of my meds and some labs just prior to surgery. Woo hoo!

I work with special education elementary students so I needed right before Spring Break or summer because our schedule is just too hectic to put my needs first. So I asked, holding my breath after being told this surgeon works on Thursdays, "Is March 26th available, the only day during the school year I'm willing to do and have been hoping for since day one?"

It was! I have to think that, even though I waited for-freaking-ever and tried endless diets that failed over and over, making me feel like a failure, the fact I'm already 2 pounds away from the 5% weight loss the clinic wanted me to lose, and every appointment has been like clockwork, and my date was available... THIS is the "final solution" that is meant to be. It's going to work. I'm an oversharer (can you tell? LOL) so I've told a lot of people in my family, friend circle, and coworker cohort, so I have a ton of people who will help me be accountable because everyone has been supportive.

So, gastric sleeve surgery in Vancouver, WA on March 26th is it. The deadline. The morning I shall wake up for the last time as the old me, and the day I will go into surgery knowing it'll be the new me coming out with the tool that's finally going to work. And, if later I'm not in this same headspace, I can come back and read this post and remember just why I *know* this is going to be the right decision for me.

On 7/7/2020 at 2:47 PM, CuriouslyCurious said:

How are you doing?

Thanks for asking! I'm great! I hit all my protein and water goals, if not exceed them, each day. I'm back to normal food, but I do sometimes supplement with a protein drink or bar, or add powder to one meal. I find I need to have "sauce" with meat. I eat it with hummus, mashed avocado, sugar-free bbq sauce or ketchup, etc... Weight is not really coming off, but inches are so I'm not worrying about it as long as my body keeps changing since I've been working out pretty hard since 4 weeks out.

Funnily enough, it took me until 5 weeks out to get the surgery report/images and finally find out why I had 6 incisions instead of 5. They tried to inflate my abdomen in one by my belly button but apparently my abdominal wall muscle is 'abnormally thick', and so they had to move up higher and use 'vigorous traction'. Yeah... the bruises showed that one.