Do you use or have you used the "N" word? What are your feelings on racism, and racial slurs and words? The poll is anonymous so answer truthfully, please.

Because it happens to be the one we're discussing right now. Refer to the above poll.

But just to touch upon your question briefly...for example, just because I say f..k periodically and know I shouldn't does not make it okay to say the n word.

Joyously, this post of yours is one of the best ones I've seen on this board...ever. Why? Because it has really made me stop to think about this matter. First of all, I agree about if you can't say something in front of everyone, then it's not a good thing to say. In fact, I think a great deal of us have raised our kids to not do that...specifically, call people names. But what has really made me think from your message is twofold. Your last sentence to the above message grabbed me! Of course, you're not an African-American...!! I've never even thought about that. Thank you. Gone are the times I ever use those words. More importantly, however, is the fact that I realize we DO try to annoint black leaders and, indeed, yours is the only race in which that is done in the U.S. anyway. I can understand where you are coming from on this and I've never thought of it EITHER! That could definitely be perceived as belittlement. Regarding MLK: Well, he singlehandedly did more for the civil rights movement in this country then anyone before or since. He felt everyone was inherently good and lived by that until he died. My, if we could all do that wouldn't this world be a much, much better place. Regarding his infidelity...I won't even address it since I'm not perfect by any means and I sure don't want anyone judging me!!! Not in the least!!!

I just can't stress enough how much I've become Enlightened on this gloomy, otherwise boring Saturday.

I completely agree. I think the word in question is a nasty, disgusting word and should never be used. Ever. And like you say, every person on Earth makes mistakes of one kind or another. We can respect and acknowledge, though, the effects people have on society through their personal efforts and through their legacies, even if they aren't perfect people. I encourage EVERYONE to go and see the Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, TN. It will shock you, break your heart, and hopefully, make people think twice about using certain words.

And remember folks, the excuse of "but other people use it" is not, in any way, justification. Never has been, never will be. Just ask your mother.

touche', Lauren!!!!!!!!!

I completely agree. I think the word in question is a nasty, disgusting word and should never be used. Ever. And like you say, every person on Earth makes mistakes of one kind or another. We can respect and acknowledge, though, the effects people have on society through their personal efforts and through their legacies, even if they aren't perfect people. I encourage EVERYONE to go and see the Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, TN. It will shock you, break your heart, and hopefully, make people think twice about using certain words.

I would love to see the museum! How far is Memphis from Nashville?

What makes the n word so taboo? Whats so special about it that it is socially acceptable to use other "bad words" occassionally, but a word that has at least two meanings (one good and one bad) cant be used in either way. WHY is it okay for one race to use a word and another cant? Isnt that racism?

I would love to see the museum! How far is Memphis from Nashville?

It is about 3.5 hours. Well, Memphis is. The museum is downtown, so there might be a tad added on, depending on traffic. Memphis is great, though. Very multicultural, very interesting.

What makes the n word so taboo? Whats so special about it that it is socially acceptable to use other "bad words" occassionally, but a word that has at least two meanings (one good and one bad) cant be used in either way. WHY is it okay for one race to use a word and another cant? Isnt that racism?

I don't think it is socially acceptable to use "other bad words occasionally." My personal feelings, of course. I also don't think it's okay for anyone to use it, regardless of race. Just like I don't care if the person calling me a bitch is a man or a woman. Whomever does it is going to get slapped. The fact is, though, the "n word" has a massive history behind it that the "c word" or the "b word" doesn't.

So the history makes it so bad? So if I happen to ask a black classmate who sits in front of me in class to pick up my dropped pencil because I cant reach it, then Im incenuating that they should do it because they are black and I am white? Why is it ok for black people to use the word then and not for any other race? I have a black friend who uses it in a deragatory manner all the time, but apparently its ok??

What makes the n word so taboo? Whats so special about it that it is socially acceptable to use other "bad words" occassionally, but a word that has at least two meanings (one good and one bad) cant be used in either way. WHY is it okay for one race to use a word and another cant? Isnt that racism?

Again, like I previously said, just because we use words sometimes we'd rather not have our kids use (therefore, we shouldn't..though most of us do..myself included)...does not make it okay to say another word that we shouldn't. And even worse, the word is a personal affront and it is offensive......why is it okay for them to use the word themselves? I think Joyously should answer this.

I grew up poor in a dilapidated old house. I sure as hell don't want to be called white trash. I have been before and it STILL hurts and it was in high school thirty+ years ago.

The question I have for you, Jodi, is why in the world would you want to take the chance that people are hurt by this word? Why not just not use it to be on the safe side? Do you want your baby to learn this word? Believe me, they repeat everything they hear, especially the words you tell them NOT to, and they will use it whenever and wherever they get a hankering to do so.

So the history makes it so bad? So if I happen to ask a black classmate who sits in front of me in class to pick up my dropped pencil because I cant reach it, then Im incenuating that they should do it because they are black and I am white? Why is it ok for black people to use the word then and not for any other race? I have a black friend who uses it in a deragatory manner all the time, but apparently its ok??

If you look back at my last post, I quite clearly said that I didn't think it was okay for a black person to use it, that I don't think certain words should be used by anyone, regardless of who they are. And yes, the hundreds of years of history behind it does make it a very bad word to use.

So if I happen to ask a black classmate who sits in front of me in class to pick up my dropped pencil because I cant reach it, then Im incenuating that they should do it because they are black and I am white?

Huh? Asking someone nicely to pick up your pencil is a heck of a lot different than saying, "Yo, n_____, pick that up for me."

Again, like I previously said, just because we use words sometimes we'd rather not have our kids use (therefore, we shouldn't..though most of us do..myself included)...does not make it okay to say another word that we shouldn't. And even worse, the word is a personal affront and it is offensive......why is it okay for them to use the word themselves? I think Joyously should answer this.

I grew up poor in a dilapidated old house. I sure as hell don't want to be called white trash. I have been before and it STILL hurts and it was in high school thirty+ years ago.

The question I have for you, Jodi, is why in the world would you want to take the chance that people are hurt by this word? Why not just not use it to be on the safe side? Do you want your baby to learn this word? Believe me, they repeat everything they hear, especially the words you tell them NOT to, and they will use it whenever and wherever they get a hankering to do so.

I use this word as a term of good friendship. It also means (around here anyways) that you trust the person. Its a good thing as long as it has an "a" at the end of it. I dont say it with an "er" often, and probably havent said it in months. If I say it that way it means that someone (no matter what color they are) has REALLY pissed me off. I cant predict what my child will hear from others, but I even sensor myself now as opposed to my previous (and VERY unfeminine and unprofessional) potty mouth. And what is "safe?" I cant insult a black person who just insulted me without knowing me? I cant turn-around and judge someone for judging me? Now what kind of frilly-froo-froo world is that? Im a REALIST....Crap happens, people say things that are inappropriate. The way I see it is 1.) You can either sit around and stay mad at them and let them get you down, ruin your day 2.) You can ignore it or 3.) You can return the "favor." I usually go with with the latter, however I believe that 2 or 3 is acceptable, but Im not going to let some dumb word ruin my psyche. Ive been called HORRID things in my life that would make the "n" word look like a compliment, but I usually get mad for a sec, stand up for myself, and go about my day in a good peace of mind.

If you look back at my last post, I quite clearly said that I didn't think it was okay for a black person to use it, that I don't think certain words should be used by anyone, regardless of who they are. And yes, the hundreds of years of history behind it does make it a very bad word to use. Huh? Asking someone nicely to pick up your pencil is a heck of a lot different than saying, "Yo, n_____, pick that up for me."

Ummm....Do you really think that EVERY slave was whipped into submission? That they were ALL beat down. They werent. I will admit that my family owned 2 or 3 slaves during that period and treated them quite well (according to journals and such). They didnt beat them or mentally abuse them. They used them for labor purposes only (which was wrong I admit.) So, therefore according to the history of a culture asking someone of that culture to do something for me would allow them to assume Im being racist....In theory ofcourse.

There are many words I don't care for. The "n" word, the "c" word, lots of 'em.

It is a reflection of the person using the word, not those they are referring to.

I would not want my child to behave in this manner (I'm talking my own child) and that's always a good measuring stick for my own behavior. Sticking up for yourself is one thing. Calling someone a name because they called you one both feeds the flame so the situation could become escalated in a real bad way and is frightfully immature to say the very least.