Hi everybody,

My name is Kelly and this is my absolute first post on anything like this so if I'm doing something wrong or posting in the wrong spot let me know. I am scheduled for gastric bypass on August 13th, and my husband just had his surgery on Monday June 11th. He is doing so well! He actually thought it was going to hurt way more and he's not even talking the pain meds he came home with ( trust me he's a baby). My question pertains more to how you go about telling people in your life ( more specifically co-workers) that you are going to have gastric bypass. I am hesitant because I dont want to get the whole "well why don't you just lose it yourself " response. I have only told one person that I work with and she is sworn to secrecy. I work with mostly females and I know if I told one person everyone would know by the end of the day. Ideally I'd like to not tell anyone and then come back to work but obviously people are going to know at some point. But in the case of people you haven't seen in a while and they compliment you and say Omg you lost alot of weight how did you do it? How is that question handled. My response of well I had gastric bypass seems to me that it would create a very akward response on their part making for a very uncomfortable situation. So really I dont know how to answer that question and I'm hoping to get some ideas or your experience in this sitaution. Thanks so much !

Welcome

In general, I told everyone, even strangers on the street. Generally the reaction that I received was either supportive or curious about the surgery. But I can understand that after the operation and the pounds begin to drop off, some people might wish you not to succeed because it might put them on the spot. Your success might put pressure on them to lose weight themselves.

Many people on this site never told anyone except their spouse. It's entirely up to you.

Since you've got several weeks before your surgery, if you don't want to tell anyone, start laying the groundwork for your story now. Let them see you planning your meals and doing smaller portions, talk about increasing your exercise, etc. You can even say you're doing this to be supportive of your husband if they know about his surgery. Anyway, if you've already got the story started, they won't be surprised when the weight starts to really fall off. They'll just think your diet/exercise plan is going really well. They won't remember details about when you started to lose.

Telling, or not, is your call. Personally, I only told people that I knew would be supportive. I wasn't interested in any Negative Nellies! Good luck to you and your husband on your journeys!

Oh, and if you don't tell people and someone asks, you can say you're watching your portions and exercising more. Which is technically correct.

Edited June 14, 20188 yr by Orchids&Dragons

Welcome to the boards!! My sleeve surgery is Aug 13th! ?.

Is there a reason why you feel like you have to tell people? I am of the camp that it isn’t anyone’s business. At work I’ll be telling people I am having surgery. They don’t need to know anything more. For those that may ask how I lost the weight my response will be “hard work”.

I have close friends that I have told but those in my outer circle won’t know.

I feel like maybe I should tell some people because I do consider them to be my friends but I also want to avoid negative responses which I know I will get some. I didn't tell anyone my husband was having surgery, that's not for me to tell, and a couple people pried but I just said it was private. I don't want to lie to people and say I did it by myself but I don't know if I feel comfortable laying it all out on the table.

On 06/13/2018 at 19:38, Proteinshakeenthusiast said:

I feel like maybe I should tell some people because I do consider them to be my friends but I also want to avoid negative responses which I know I will get some. I didn't tell anyone my husband was having surgery, that's not for me to tell, and a couple people pried but I just said it was private. I don't want to lie to people and say I did it by myself but I don't know if I feel comfortable laying it all out on the table.

That’s exactly why I’m leaving it as surgery and hard work. Both of those are true and quite frankly you are under no obligation to spill the beans just because someone else feels the need to be nosy. The lack of information is for them to figure out how to handle, not for you to do that.

As you move through this process you’ll be able to recognize those you feel comfortable talking to and those you don’t. You’ll also start to feel more comfortable about the surgery itself as well.

I know a lot of this is easy to for us to say and harder to do. But after I hit 40, I got to a point where I realized I was no longer going to feel obligated to do anything. I wish I would have lived my younger years that way. Lol