I am struggling not to cram everything in the ref. in my mouth!!!! I wil get straight to the point.

My adult, 35 year old daughter is an alcholic!!! She has lost her teaching job. They have lost custody of her step daughter. Her marriage is on the brink. Everytime I would call her, or my other daughter, her sister, she would be drunk and there would be tons and tons of drama. As a result, we have distanced ourselves from her tragic life. I have told her over and over again that she needs to go to counseling, or to AA. Then she would start screaming at me at the top of her lungs. I in turn would usually react the same, screaming. Then I figured to let her rant and rave. Then she would verbaly attack me and I would tell her that when she calms down, we will continue the conversation later. Then I would go for weeks and not hear from her.

Tonight she called me and told me that she is attending AA meetings and seeing a counselor. I gave her encouragement and was really petting her on the back. Then she starts screaming at me, asking me where I was when she needed me. Finally, after her screaming at me for several mintues, I told her that everytime I called her she was drinking!!! Well, she screamed at me and hung up.

Five minutes, phone rang again and called ID was her number. Well, this time it was her husband wanting to know what in the hell I did to upset his wife. Might I add he has a drinking problem too.

In total, we got 4 phone calls from them. I put her on speaker phone, so my husband(her step dad) could hear her screaming at me.

I would say that I do not knowwhat to do, but I do know really. I should not accept phone calls from her when she is on a screaming fit. But I feel that I am abandoning her. Just the sound of my voice sends her off. I am sorry for going on and on about it. I just have to blow off steam, or I will eat everything in sight.

On top of this, I go for my first fill tomorrow, and I am scared to death of that needle. I will not sleep a wink tonight.:help::think

My mom says that it is so hard to give up on your child. Sometimes it just breaks my heart to watch her try to help my brother. He doesn't want her help because he isn't ready to stop yet. He may never be. Booze has cost him everthing, two marriages, one son, numerous jobs, his health, his self respect, everything. Donna is so right, it is not your fault. It is also so sad but true that you cannot save an alcoholic---they have to save themselves.