Hi.

It's been 2.5 years since my surgery and I have lost a little over 100lbs I gained about 10 back and it seems ok. I struggle everyday with how I look. The crazy part is I am told more now that I am too ugly to date by women than when I was bigger. I have some extra skin but I feel I look better but maybe I'm not. It is only about my looks for women anymore I'm not sure why. Maybe I can get some insight?

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry there are people in this world who can be so cruel. If they weren't interested they could have just said no thank you and moved on. I agree with everyone here, join a group and be looking for women who aren't shallow horrible people. You got some great advice from everyone and I wish you the absolute best!

PS. Even though I'm married, I can still say you are a handsome man and I know in time you will find that special someone. Keep your head up!!

both men and women are shallow on those online sites. even if they werent picky they are desperate for one thing only. nothing more will evolve out of those and if they do its very rare. its more of a catfish situation. a lot of them are married and stray cuz they are bored or lonely.

I was also going to suggest finding a new pastime or hobby to meet more people, like @Sosewsue61 did. I've had friends who tried the online dating thing and found more fake people than genuine ones. Not saying it's impossible, but I think the odds are not in your favor there.

Anyone who calls you ugly is dealing with their own insecurities and issues, find other people that build you up instead of trying to tear you down. Know that you are worth better than that type of treatment and don't put up with it or believe it, not for one second.

I just looked at your picture and you look just fine to me. Although i have also been told that my face looked better when i was bigger so i know what your feeling lol.

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What anyone thinks of you ONLY matters IF you ALLOW it to matter. When you feel down based on rude statements about your appearance, YOU are doing it to yourself because YOU have given them control over how you should feel. Stop immediately. Take back what is rightfully yours - your self respect, your confidence and your control. The next negative comment you receive remember that you have a CHOICE...allow it to negatively impact you, or understand that it's their issue, and you are worth far more than they ever deserve. A miserable soul can't feed itself, so it will seek others to consume. A positive soul regenerates and nourishes others. You got this.

Now activate beast mode and be the positive man you know is growing within you.

You look pretty good in your profile picture so I'm smh... [emoji848] Maybe the women you're going for are just superficial. You don't want to date a plastic girl anyway.

You look pretty good in your profile picture so I'm smh... [emoji848] Maybe the women you're going for are just superficial. You don't want to date a plastic girl anyway.

That is definitely true I do not want a plastic girl at all.