I had another person tell me I shouldn't get surgery because I'll die...my stomach will burst and that I should get the Lap Band (which has been proven to cause serious health issues).

Someone she knew passed from getting gastric bypass and that I should get another procedure, which Medicaid doesn't cover. Nope! Will get sleeved regardless of what anyone says. This is the umpteenth time someone has come at me like this. And this "friend" doesn't realize that I'm one step away from being done with the pre-surgery process (2nd cardiac clearance since I didn't pass the first one0

I knew this would happen. Once again, a Negative Nellie attempting to steer me away from my goal.

There will always be reasons not to do things- but in the end, are the outweighed by the reasons to do them? That's what matters. I hope you get your clearance soon!!

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So far, all the people I've talked to about it are for it (one when I started to bring it up said, you aren't thinking of doing that are you? But was supportive from then on when I explained why I am considering it). But today I talk to my dad. That could go either way!

Do people not understand there is no other way that even gives us a fighting chance of keeping it off? A 98% chance of regaining it if I lose it - AGAIN - through diet and exercise alone is no chance at all. I've done that 3 times already and sit here at 285. Again. That's harder on my body and health than any surgery would be.

Tune them out. They may be expressing concern out of love for you, but they don't walk in your shoes. Good luck with your clearances!

As independent adults, we do what we have to do. Ignore the comments that don't support your positive goals, embrace those that do, and stay the course! Good luck!

I personally think that when you're in a position where you are doing better for yourself and becoming more successful (or are about to become more successful) at anything, people around you who know about it will try to bring you down, especially if they don't see success in their present or future.

People get jealous fairly easily because you're reminding them that they aren't successful. Basically, haters gonna hate. You do you so you can be happy, healthy, and successful!!

Good luck with everything!

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Unfortunately, this is why I'm not telling many people what I'm doing. There are a select few who I know will support me I'll tell, and that is all. The others do not need to know. It is none of their business.

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I had one slight negative comment and it was from my sister when I first told her but now she is very supportive

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Yeah, people just don't understand that the surgery is the only thing that will work for folks like us who have lost and regained so many times. I plan on not telling many people just because I know I will get sick of explaining and I don't want to hear the negativity. When people notice the weight loss, I will just say, "yeah I've been working on it."

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There's a lot of misinformation out there about the surgery. From the "it's the easy way out" (see link in my signature for my response to that) to "it doesn't work, everyone regains" to "it's so dangerous". Most people are just misinformed.

I know the only real concerns any of my friends and family had were because they'd personally known someone who had died and it was attributed to the surgery (bypass for most cases) but it was always years after the fact, which means there were other things going on than just the surgery. And it was years ago, and a different surgery. None of those people were unsupportive, just concerned. Once I explained the current science and risk factors, they realized I'd done my homework and were very supportive.

My response is always based on how invested I am in the relationship with that person. If it's someone I work or interact with a lot and care about the relationship, I educate them about the surgery and the scientific evidence and the true risk factors. If it's not a close friend or family member, I don't go into personal health details, but if it is I explain why my particular case points to this surgery. If they still don't support me, I just stop discussing it with them. If they bring it up, I change the subject.

If it's not someone I am close to or care about, I just tell them that they might want to look into the current research because it doesn't sound like their information is up to date. And then walk away. LOL.