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just a rant.. talking myself into this

So you know this post has no purpose. It’s me venting to people I don’t know so I can say anything which is a amazing because I’ve been pretty quiet at home ( Cant scare my hubby).

So my surgery is tomorrow and I’m defiantly nervous.. How much pain am I going to be in ... ? Is this really going to help us get pregnant in the end?? Am I going to be more obsessed with my looks then with the whole reason I’m doing this in the first place? Am I going to maintain a healthy weight After surgery? Will I even get to a healthy weight !? I feel like my head is going to explode. Then the darker things like are people going to say I took the easy way? I’m so sick of people in general . It’s great that people have success with weight loss with self-motivation, diet and exercise, but man is it rough when you have 120 or more to lose to be " healthy" that’s a person! I need to lose a whole fucking person .. So yeah I’m doing this . No regrets. I’m going to be fine and my husband and I are going to make a baby and we are going to be those happy people!

.... Well... ok lol that was beneficial

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My rationale for the surgery is laid out in this post:

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/08/05/the-easy-way-out/

Try to de-stress a little. I'm someone who over-thinks everything, so I can empathize. A *lot* of the same thoughts were running through my head the days leading up to my surgery.

Don't second-guess your decision. You more than likely have thought about this a lot, and talked to doctors and specialists about it in making your decision.

I can't lie, the first days after surgery were rough. But it wasn't nearly as hard as I'd thought it would be. And everything has gotten better almost daily since.

You got this.

Hi Hopeful16, take a deep breath and exhale. All will be fine. Stay positive. I had vsg surgery last Tuesday so I am officially 1 week post op. Honestly, I had tons of thoughts the hours leading up to surgery and even while I was being prepped before surgery and I asked myself do I want to do this. I thought about the process and how long it took for me to get there. I told myself no regrets and that I came too far to turn around and not proceed. So I had the surgery. Believe me once you have the surgery you will not be focused on all these questions. You will be more concerned about healing, getting fluids in, and learning what your sleeve can tolerate. As far as pain, it's more of a soreness and achy feeling in the abdominal area. It hurts to laugh, cough, and sneeze. I still can't pick things up off the floor. Gas is probably the worse pain you will deal with. I just woke up this morning with it really bad but with massage and heat I was able to release it. I know you mentioned about you and your husband wanting a child. I did this partly because I didn't want to be overweight and pregnant. I want to lose all the weight I need to and then have kids. Yes, my research has said that this surgery will make it easier for one to get pregnant. Of course that is all about timing . For me I look at this as taking one step at a time. Setting goals can definitely help keep your thoughts at peace. Having a baby is a goal in this process. But to be honest after just having the surgery I really can't think about that right now. As for what people are going to say, I only told a few people within my circle that know me and will support me for sure. I have the same thoughts and concerns that's why I didn't tell anyone on my job except my supervisor. I didn't even tell my grandmother. Only my parents, sister and brother in law, husband and mother in law know. I did this because I didn't want any negativity. Come to find out my mother in law was negative about it and made a horrible comment but I learned my lesson and I will prove her wrong about her perception. The good part about this journey is that you can choose who you want to know about it or not. Your business is your business. It's been challenging so far but I don't regret it. I've lost 10 pounds since surgery. I am exactly 100 pounds from my goal. You will be fine and the surgery will be successful! I promise you after the surgery you will only be worried about getting in your fluids, vitamins, and protein. If you focus on these three key requirements you will be successful and lose the weight.

Hi Hopeful16!

Totally agree with all above! Take a deep breath and exhale!

I'm 1 week, 1 day post op...round two...band to sleeve revision. I think everyone has those same fear/thoughts. As a healthcare professional myself, I did that constant battle with myself literally all the way up until I was looking up at the anesthesiologist, with tears falling down the sides of my face knowing what was about to happen. This time around, I told nobody except my husband (obviously), my mother, my adult children, my very best friend since childhood (who had the bypass 10 yrs ago) and 1 co-worker who is a close friend. I just didn't want the negativity or questions. Since my Lapband in 2013, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard "surgery is the easy way out", I would be a millionaire! People that don't understand the struggles of weight loss will never understand a surgical option! This is FAR from the "easy way out"! I used to tell people how offensive it was to hear that...then I realized, only people that walk in similar shoes completely understand!

You have made an amazing decision! Stay strong, be proud of yourself and know this...this journey is 10% psychical and 90% mental. From recovery to approximately 72hrs out, I was wondering why I put my self thru this again...my husband (not my adult children's father) and my mother kept telling me "you've given birth, you've got this, this is much easier"...I'm not going to lie...I think once or twice my drug induced response was "I'd rather give birth again"...but then I remembered that giving birth comes with an entirely different set of fears and emotions, and then they start walking and talking and grow up (don't let that scare you lol)!

Know that you will not only have the support of your immediate family, but also the support of your bariatric surgery family! Go into tomorrow and your new journey ahead with peace of mind knowing that you are doing what's best for you!

Best Wishes!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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