I cannot take a bite of food without hubbie standing over me; "you're eating too fast";" I hope that is the right consistency"';"that is not what the information says you should be doing". WTF AM SUPPOSED TO DO. If he could, I would be eating from an eye dropper. This is what I have had today. 1/2 c of coffee over 30 minutes time; it was way too cold by the time I got to the "good to the last drop". Had such a small amount of chicken broth, it was bearely visiable in the bowl. I wish I had some of those little pill cups they use in the hospital to put my rations in.

If my sister in laws call one more time and ask; Is she hungry??? What did she eat today??? You mean she had a drop of chicken broth and a spoon of Jello and she is not hungry???

I had my band on the 27th. The day surgery turned out to be 4 days and 4 nights in the hospital. They had to repair a hytial hernia. It was as big as the grand canyon, but then of course big girls do not have henias the size of a leak in a bike tire. We go for the grand canyon. My doctor said if he had hollered into it, there would have been an echo. Well, excuse me.

Because of the trama of the grand canyon getting repaired, the swelling caused my band to slip. And this was DAY 1. Nothing would go past the band. DAY 2 they tried to get past the band twice and nothing. We are stuck. Well by this point, I am pucking up the most funky stuff that has ever been inside a human being.

DAY THREE ; 2.5 hours of surgery to find out WTF is going on. When I woke, I felt like I had been hit by an 18 wheeler.

DAY FOUR; I go down for a barium swallow test and God Almight, I hit a grand slam home run. Everything is moving right along. HOWEVER, because of the trama, I must spend the night in the hospital once more.

DAY FIVE; Nurse comes in and tells me that my potassium is too low and they cannot let me go home once more. I looked Nurse Ratchet in the eye and I said "Like Hell. Whatever you are going to give me, I will take it at home." Two hours later, Nurse Ratchet informs me that they were successful in bringing up my levels. If I had the strength, I would dance.

So, then i was sitting there waiting for hubby to arrive and my dand gum IV starts beeping. I call Nurse Ratchet. She informs me she will be right in. After 15 minutes of waiting and listening to the beep, beep, beep, I get up, unplug the IV from the wall and start down the hall, all the time pushing this beeping IV pole and trying my best to hold the open in the back gown across my big #$%. Oh, did I add that I was bawling. The nurses are sitting at my destination writting in charts, IGNORING ME!!!! Finally one of them come up to me and says "May I Help you???". She fixes the problem and I return to my ward.

Fifteen minutes, the IV starts beeping again. I buzz for the nurse and they assured me they would be right in. Fifteen minutes passes. I get up, unplugg the IV again and disconect it from my arm. I take the beeping IV and set it in the hallway and close the door. So, I guess I told them who was the boss.

When hubby got there, he went to see the director of nursing and she came up to see me. After she left my room, hubby went to the nursing station for a cup of coffee and he told me the director had the nurses in an office, and she was waving her arms so much, she looked like a line judge at the Super Bowl.

So, is it any wonder I had a nuclear fusion. I hope when I get to be 130 pounds, this will be funny.

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Now that made me laugh. I will send him on the hunt of those tiny,tiny eating utentials tomorrow. Then while he is gone(for hours and hours) I can have a meal in piece)

Now that made me laugh. I will send him on the hunt of those tiny,tiny eating utentials tomorrow. Then while he is gone(for hours and hours) I can have a meal in piece)

I would give you the brand name but it's written in Chinese, no English to be had on the packaging. Regardless, I doubt he'll find it anyway.

If he brings home baby utensils and you find that you still need more time then just tell him the truth, they are too big. These are about 1/2 the size of baby utensils. If you have had a long enough break then go ahead and use the baby size he'll likely bring you. When you need another break from him, fake being stuck. Clutch your chest, stand up, eyes bugged out and say those utensils were toooooo big! Can he PLEASE find a smaller size???

Heh... men.

We have to find humor where we can. Who ever thought I would be laughing about this. When he told me I was taking too big bites, I WAS USING A BABY SPOON. Since my meltdown, he has backed off alot. I told him that i would be the first to know if I was eating too fast, taking too big of a bite. And oh, how, just how can I take a big bite of watered down cream of wheat. Anyway, we seem to have chilled for now. Now, our daughter has thrown a crisis at us. So cream of wheat is no longer the issue!!!! Thanks for the encouragement.

Sorry about the daughter crisis. Hope all is well! Hang in there!