Struggling!!!

A whole year has gone by already and I have received more negative than positive from family and so called friends. Now I am concerned and feel ashamed because I have not lost as much as I should have. I did not even Celebrate my first surgerversery (sp). Just healing from two major surgeries at the same time (RNY & gallbladder) was enough but now I realize that the negative reactions sent me more into a depressive state. My starting weight was over 500, maybe there is a willing buddy out there who has been successful with losing a massive amount of weight too.

I don't have that much to lose so I might not be of much help. Just remember that you cant let the negativity of others get to you. Keep pushing on and do what you can. Its not easy, its hard work and your friends and family were probably thinking surgery would be like magic and lose the weight for you. They have no idea how difficult it is and how much support they need to provide rather than being critical.. Lift your self up and ask God for guidance and support. Good luck to you.

I can relate a little bit. I am afraid to tell my sister and best friend that I am having the surgery. I don't think I am even going to. They will both be extremely negative and talk"down" to me. I am going to have enough stress when I have my surgery without worrying about other people. Afterall, it's about "us", not "them" Good luck!!! And keep working hard FOR YOU!!!!

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@@Cervidae and "@@Inner Surfer Girl" have lost more than 200lbs so far. There's many others as well.

Do you have a therapist? I think it's beneficial to everyone to have a good therapist who has experience in Bariatric Surgery and eating disorders.

@@KristenLe - thanks for the mention. I agree completely about therapy. Everyone who is considering, going through, or has gone through this recently needs to talk to a professional during this time of enormous change.

@@zsnaani - I will be celebrating my one year surgery anniversary in 3 days on the 17th. I have lost 168 pounds since surgery and 241 pounds since my highest (recorded) weight of 450 pounds two years ago. I still weigh 209 pounds, and I often find myself worrying and feeling bad about myself for not being lower than I currently am. At my one year follow up appointment a few days ago, I asked the nurse practitioner if I was on track with my weight loss, and she told me that the average in their program is 60% excess weight loss in the first year, and that I'm at 46% excess weight loss. Hearing that made me completely ashamed, and I was in that bad place all over again, the place I lived for many years in which it constantly felt that I was powerless and my very best was not good enough. I seriously had a huge plummet in my mood, and I spent the rest of the day miserable and anxious, worrying that I was somehow doing something wrong or not good enough, or that the center would be judging me or something. All of these fears are completely illogical, of course, when I look at the situation with a little more objectivity. I've lost almost 170 pounds in a year. That's about 14 pounds a month, and for the last three and a half months I've been almost completely sedentary while healing from knee surgery. Is that slower than many people, especially people who started as heavy as I started? Yes. Or at least from my own observations, yes. Does that somehow make the weight I have lost any less of a huge achievement, and something I shouldn't be proud of? Absolutely not! I've literally lost HUNDREDS of pounds off of me in the past few years. In 5 years, when I've been at my goal weight for a long time and I'm just living my normal, healthy life, is it really going to matter that it took me 3 years instead of 2 to save my life and improve every single aspect of it? Why do I feel like I'm in some kind of horrible, impossible race, and I'm losing? The reality is, you and I should both be enormously proud of ourselves. Even if I stayed at 209 pounds for the rest of my life, I have still 100% fixed my body. I've given myself an entire future that would not have existed if I had never gone to that first bariatric seminar. At 23, I was prepared to die before 30. Look how things have changed.

Really take a step back for a minute and look at the person you are now and the person you were before you started the surgery process. What did you feel every day back then? Did you feel hope for the future? Did you feel safe and healthy? Try to see your life today objectively (trust me, I know how difficult that is...) and really ask yourself "am I moving in the right direction? Have I gone down the right road, even if I had to take a detour? Is my destination within reach?" and I bet you'll realize just what an amazing thing you've done for yourself. I hope you remember all the incredible possibilities that are now totally within your grasp because of the endeavor you've undertaken. The hardest part is over, even if it doesn't feel like it. Now you have to remember that by having surgery, you've given yourself the tools you need and did not previously have. The tool will always be there whenever you're ready to get back on the road toward your goal. You just have to get back on the road.

I truly believe in you. With how little hope I had in my own future and the changes that have happened since then, I really believe there is nothing truly out of reach now for those who are willing to take the leaps we have. I may have already been dead by now had I not gotten surgery. That could have been you too. That could have been many of us. Instead, we're here to be able to give you some perspective when you reach out for support. Thank you for asking - we WANT to help! At least, I know I do. My inbox is always open. The fact that you're here already and have come as far as you have leaves me with little doubt that you can do anything and everything you could ever want. And if you want to reach goal, you WILL reach goal. It's not a race, it's a marathon.

What a nice post. You are a great mentor to many on this site.

I think 209 is workable in a normal way of life...I'm guessing 450 really did not work ... Which is why you put all the effort into losing 240+ pounds. !!

Congratulate yourself... Many people cannot do what you have done.

You have such a better healthier life to live now.

I'm glad you are helping others[emoji122]

I am also struggling! I had surgery 4/28/2014 and so far have lost only 80 lbs. but I realize it us my own fault. It's hard to talk to someone who hasn't had the surgery and has no idea what you are going through.

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When I first got GBS, my 1st postop visit from my surgeon resulted in him saying I should have lost twice as much weight. It was discouraging, but I now realize we all lose at different amounts and we all are trying the best we can. Just hang in there!! We're all on this weight loss journey and should be commended for what we, as individuals, have accomplished!

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I will be you buddy. I don't have that much to lose. about 120. My husband isn't supportive at all so we could support one another. I have my surgery on 12/20. I'm very nervous. I'm 63 yo. I live in Maryland. Good luck on your journey.

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Sandra 53 - I just wanted to wish you luck on your surgery. You will do fine. Just follow what the doctor tells you to do. Good Luck and let us know how you make out

Thank you. I'm home from the hospital and I'm doing fine.

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I'm 11 months out from gb surgery. I have found the one that Is your best support person is you. I had to get to a point that he'll or high water I'm going to make it and this is a life change. I live on my support apps that track all my foods protein carbs fats exercise then I set challenges for myself in exercises
Boy has it been a new life I found a person who had gb surgery 5 years ago. She treats her eating and exercise life like a religion. It's an everyday process she said.
That has helped me. FYI depression is very very common after surgery. Like hair loss eat more protein and exercise more. If it doesn't work or you can't see a counselor. I did and it helped. Keep in touch. There are a lot of us out here

By the way I'm 66 years old and have lost 85 lbs. I still have 25 to go Keep going that's what we have to do.

I am also 66 years old and have lost 106 lbs. but am at a stand still right now.

I also am on a stand still for 3 months. I watch very close what I eat. Exercise daily. Only lost 3 # In 3 months. But we all have come a long way. Remind your self we come a long way baby. Yes my Dr said on my first visit I was way below the schedule for wt loss. I went home and got mad. I'm the one on the journey. Don't let others bring you down. Remember Dr look at there statistics. Also remember That some people do not want you to succeed. Sometimes its family that run you down or some people Think that you staying strong makes you better than them and that's have no one to put down. Please look at all you have accomplished. Every day is a new day to in joy your success. We have to be our main supporter. Keep going forward even if you don't loose the fast pounds it's the like Steady as you go.

I also am on a stand still for 3 months. I watch very close what I eat. Exercise daily. Only lost 3 # In 3 months. But we all have come a long way. Remind your self we come a long way baby. Yes my Dr said on my first visit I was way below the schedule for wt loss. I went home and got mad. I'm the one on the journey. Don't let others bring you down. Remember Dr look at there statistics. Also remember That some people do not want you to succeed. Sometimes its family that run you down or some people Think that you staying strong makes you better than them and that's have no one to put down. Please look at all you have accomplished. Every day is a new day to in joy your success. We have to be our main supporter. Keep going forward even if you don't loose the fast pounds it's the like Steady as you go.



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