It is really me?
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Hi everyone.
Is been so long since I have been on here life has been crazy. I am 4months out since surgery and down 70lbs and I feel great. I also feel with the changes of my body that I as a person am starting to change and I don't know if I like that at all.
I am going to give you all a lil background about myself this may be long so I apologize ahead of time.
I have been over weight my whole life and at 19 I got married had my first at 20 and now 4kids and 11yrs later I am finally starting to lose weight other then putting it on. And if that wasn't keeping me busy enough for the first time I am not a stay at home mom Only I am starting my own business, and I feel like my life is no longer the same I thought I would be able to deal with all the changes a lot easier but it seems like I am not.
I see myself questions everything and everyone around me everyday I see myself forming and changing to a person I don't recognize and I don't feel good about that. Before the surgery I watched a YouTube video that said "you are not the same person as you are when you are fat and you will change", I knew it was coming but I don't like the person I am becoming. I am angry then I have ever been I don't want to be around my husband he shows me so much love and is there for me but I want him far away from me, and I can't tell you why I feel like that and it scares me to death.
I have so far to go until I reach my goal weight I hope only good feels come with that because I am afraid if I continue to feel the feels I have now my life is going to go upside down and I don't know now if that would be for good or bad. I don't know how I feel about myself so how am I supposed to know how I feel about the people around me? I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone, but this place has always given me good advice and I am hoping I can get some now.
Thank you for reading
All the best xoxoxo