I mean no disrespect when I ask this question - but it seems that there are two distinct 'types' of banders - those that are looking to lose weight by any means necessary (even if it's surgery), and those that are making a lifestyle change.

I know that when I started this whole process over a year ago, I had behavior modification classes, and spent weeks on mindful eating, etc. -all mandated by my surgeon.

But when I see the posts from people two weeks post surgery eating taquitos, chicken strips, and things involving high calorie dressings/sauces and asking about ice cream in Protein shakes - I wonder what is the mindset of that person? Why go through all of this? I am just shocked that anyone would spend this time, energy and pain to toss it all for ranch dressing.

Maybe I am the exception. Maybe I am more sensitive because I was a self-pay, and the idea of someone getting $20K surgery, and having McDonald's 10 days later burns me up.

But is there a thread for people that are more or less "embracing" this new lifestyle instead of trying to skirt it?

Also - before the barrage of nasty messages starts - I have had a square of chocolate, and had a piece of "regular" cheese here and there - but I know that's not going to move the numbers on the scale down, so I keep it in check.

I apologize again if I have offended, but if I read one more posting about using high-fat/calorie mushies - I am going to scream.

Thanks for reading my vent. :omg:

Sorry I am one of the ice cream with Protein shake people - on advisement from DR! His reasoning - the initial stage (first 4-6 weeks) is for healing not for focusing on losing weight and to heal your body needs fuel from food, not to be trying to burn itself out. I was told to get 600 - 1000 calories per day and right now I find that hard a) not able to get alot in me and not hugely hungry so easiest way to add calories and fuel beef up liquid and mash with 'extras'. Of course afterwards all 'extras' in food should be gone and once body healed and first fill takes place focus on weight loss and lifestyle will also come in.

So please don't give us 'extras' people a hard time and assume we are not into this 100% (I am also $15000 self pay) we might just have different instructions to follow.

Maybe I am the exception. Maybe I am more sensitive because I was a self-pay, and the idea of someone getting $20K surgery, and having McDonald's 10 days later burns me up.

My response is going to get me in a world of hurt but that never stopped me before.

I have noticed similar issues to what you describe. I was fuming the other day when reading a post on OH. A woman is on welfare, was banded at tax payers expense and now she's complaining because she has to pay a co-pay for her fills. $20.00. She was angry and didn't know she'd actually have to pay for anything and since she's on welfare, she shouldn't be expected to pay anything.

She went on to say that she was thinking about getting a revision (another $30K tab for taxpayers to fork over) to bypass because there are no copays for that.

Being me, I let it rip. I told her that there are people that want weight loss bad enough to do anything for it. They get 2nd and 3rd jobs, they have garage sales, they refinance their homes, they sell their homes and use the equity for surgery, they sell personal belongings, obtain loans from banks and family members, they go dumpster diving and sell the treasures on ebay and she is annoyed that she has a $20 copay??? Was she nuts?

I got slam dunked by a few the other welfare folks out there who had the same mindset. They shouldn't have to pay anything for their own health care. Now understand, I'm not downing folks on welfare. I'm downing those who feel it is the responsibility of society to take care of their every need and just because they are on welfare they shouldn't be expected to lift a bloody finger for their own needs.

I don't care, it made me angry. It's okay for us to pay another $30K+ for her revision so she doesn't have to pay $20 for a fill. She could easily dump her cable and pay for her fill copay, she could sell her computer. There are lots of things she could do, she simply isn't willing.

Does she really care about life style changes or weight loss?

I guess my point is that in some cases I tend to agree with you but I disagree with you when it comes to many (most?) people regardless of how their surgery was paid. Life style changes don't happen overnight, it comes in stages. Baby steps even. We didn't get this way in a day, we aren't going to change old habits in a day either.

You can't take a person with an eating disorder, band them, and expect instant changes. It just doesn't happen. It comes with time, education, dealing with head stuff, addictions, the works. There is a whole lot for us to deal with just being fat. All the bad stuff doesn't go away instantly.

I think if you look at most people here they are honestly looking for ideas from us fellow fatties on how to make these changes. They want to be healthy, they want better eating habits. Many people really have no clue where to start. If we could make these changes in a day we wouldn't need a band to begin with. I am a nurse and I needed a world of help getting started when I was first banded. I had a million questions and asked for tons of advice and tips. Heck, I *still* do. Things I should know but I was so overwhelmed that I didn't know where to start. Don't you think that most folks are in the same boat?

Personal opinion here, but I really believe that those who want weight loss bad enough will do just about anything to get it.

I'm self pay too, btw.

As for those in bandster hell, I don't ever knock anyone for caloric intake during that time frame. As a nurse and a fellow fattie I don't care how many calories they consume, I care very much that they follow the post op diet. Healing and letting the scar tissue form around the band to hold it in place are farrrrr higher on my list of priorities vs. how many calories they consume before they get a fill and restriction. If people with an eating disorder have to deal with head hunger and stomach hunger, they will fail every single time. If we can keep them from starving to death during the post op diet they are far more likely to follow their doc's instructions because they will only be dealing with head hunger. If you pile too much on a newbie they will fail. I'd rather see them eating 3000 calories daily during bandster hell yet follow the diet vs. risk a slip when they binge on tacos because they were so hungry they wanted to chew on their arm.

When someone posts that they ate chicken and tacos four days after surgery something in my head pops. I can't even read the section of LBT where newbies discuss issues right after surgery, it makes me angry. It shouldn't, it's no skin of my nose if they cause their own slip. Your thing is not having a healthy diet after banding, mine is messing with the post op diet.

Anyway, with all due respect I would have to disagree with you regarding healthy diets and the post op diet. Let them eat and not be hungry so they'll follow their doc's instructions. Better a milk shake during full liquids vs. 13 tacos.

Maybe I am the exception.

Nope, you are not alone. But the others tend to have a louder voice.

Hear hear Bubble! You hit a chord with me! I agree wholeheartedly. I won't even get started on the welfare thing because I would never shut up, so nuff said. When I paid for my surgery, I made a pact with myself. This is not $15 a week at Weight Watchers. This is not several hundred dollars for Jenny Craig. This is a fortune to most, and me, and takes a chunk out of my money saved for retirement...so I better make this sucker work. I'm 3 months out and I am actually quite comfortable with my eating habits right now, considering I have 50 years to undo. I had 2 scoops of chocolate chip ice cream last weekend. Probably the first ice cream I have had in 6 months. Okay, I enjoyed it and now I am done with it for a while. I do agree about the folks eating all that stuff on their 2nd week or so out. I was too SCARED that I'd damage something if I did. Fear of consequences and awe of the money spent kept me on the straight and narrow. It amazes me that someone would be so lah-de-dah about the whole thing to put all that at risk.

I haven't yet been banded - scheduled for about a month - but I was telling my wife the exact same thing about this board yesterday. it seems that there are two groups, one that has made changes in lifestyle and are gettign results, and another that is trying to avoid changing lifestyle, and isn't getting results.

I am hoping that I will fall into the first group.

One of the major reasons I chose lapband is so that I can eat like a thin person. A thin person might eat healthy most of the time, but they do allow themselves indulgences. I refuse to live a life that totally denies me all of the foods I enjoy. I will happily live a life that allows me to enjoy foods in moderation.

I'm a self-pay as well and if I choose to eat a small bag of Cheetos every now and then, I will be fine. It was the large bag of Cheetos followed by the huge bowl of ice cream (or other comparable goodies) on a daily basis that was my problem.

It is important to realize that each and everyone of us has a different lifestyle that poses different sets of issues. For me, denying myself of cheater foods would surely have me looking for them all the time. I don't want to work against the band, I want to work with the band.

I've not been banded too long, but so far, so good. The weight is coming off and I am learning how to eat healthy without totally denying myself along the way. I think we all just have to do what works best for us.

Its important to note: everyone has their own journey to follow.... my journey is not yours.. yours is not mine........... I eat chicken tacos all the time........ The difference is I eat 1 or 2 NOT 6 or 7...... as a matter of fact.. I'm fixing taco's for dinner tonight.

B: cottage cheese and blueberries

L: Turkey bratwurst w/ketchup

D: Ground Beef Taco (maybe two)

I'm down nearly 45 lbs, and wearing size 16's again (was a 24)..... I think I'm taking it seriously.

As my grandma used to say "tend to you own knitting". Why would someone else's foolish behavior bother you in any way?

I understand what you're saying... However, I have no problems with people eating whatever they want during the mushies/liquid phase as long as it is mushie or liquid. I've read about people blending just about anything. I have a much bigger issue with people who consciously eat solid food during that time, as that can seriously affect their Band.

Some people will not lose weight or be able to control their food desires until they have good restriction. Others are veteran dieters who can stick to any diet for a certain period of time. Yet the person who drinks milk shakes during his liquid phase may end up being more successful than the person who drinks only low-fat Proteins shakes.... one can't tell at that phase.

I lost all of my weight not by eating low-carb or following any specific diet. I focused on high-quality food, but allowed the Band to limit my portions. So, I'd rather drink hot chocolate made with Godiva cocoa and low-fat organic milk in the morning rather than some low-calorie, no-sugar fake stuff. I'd have one delicious crab cake for dinner... rather than a diet meal. Real mayo, but only a little. Real butter, but only a little. All worked for me. And I exercised daily. It was a lifestyle change... but it was saying good-bye to the diet mentality that really helped me.

I do find the, "IcantbeliveIhavetopayacopay" attitude annoying beyond belief, though. They're so darn lucky to have their surgery covered period.

Peace.

In my opinion, anyone who does not modify their lifestyle, including types of food, volume of food, exercise, how they vent stress (If they were using food as a stress reliever) and a host of other areas is DOOMED TO FAIL WITH THE LAP-BAND OR ANY OTHER WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY!

(But what do I know? I am just a guy trying every day to follow my own advice!)

It's so easy to make a judgement based on what we see in a message-board post. I'd like it if we can all remember that this is a very PERSONAL journey we're undertaking, and what works for us may not work for someone else. I know it's hard to bite one's tongue when questions seem absurd, but really, we should be "tending to our own knitting" (Love that!!) and not worrying about what other people are doing.

Personally, I'm fully aware that a "lifestyle change" is necessary, but I'm also completely realistic about what I am able to do. Hell, if I had what it takes to make a "lifestyle change" on my own, I wouldn't have been banded in the first place. Banding in itself IS a lifestyle change; it just takes people different amounts of time to climb that learning curve and achieve what they set out to. Some never do. All we can do is keep trying, and supporting one another along the way.

As for those in bandster hell, I don't ever knock anyone for caloric intake during that time frame. As a nurse and a fellow fattie I don't care how many calories they consume, I care very much that they follow the post op diet. Healing and letting the scar tissue form around the band to hold it in place are farrrrr higher on my list of priorities vs. how many calories they consume before they get a fill and restriction. If people with an eating disorder have to deal with head hunger and stomach hunger, they will fail every single time. If we can keep them from starving to death during the post op diet they are far more likely to follow their doc's instructions because they will only be dealing with head hunger. If you pile too much on a newbie they will fail. I'd rather see them eating 3000 calories daily during bandster hell yet follow the diet vs. risk a slip when they binge on tacos because they were so hungry they wanted to chew on their arm.

I think this bears repeating. I COMPLETELY agree. :nod:

You can't take a person with an eating disorder, band them, and expect instant changes. It just doesn't happen. It comes with time, education, dealing with head stuff, addictions, the works. There is a whole lot for us to deal with just being fat. All the bad stuff doesn't go away instantly.

Amen. And while I don't believe that anyone should come here and try to get support for not living a healthy lifestyle, I think we should all be supportive and uplifting to each other no matter what stage we are in with our food issues etc. I find that I have times when I am doing everything right, and then for one reason or another my lifelong addiction rears its head and the struggle becomes much harder. I have learned for myself that I will NEVER be able to give up my addiction to unhealthy eating habits, I can only learn to manage them- I can only take it one meal, one day at a time.

Great topic. thanks for starting it.............

I find this fascinating. I am also Self Pay to the tune of $17,000.

Makes me want to scream when I read about the person complaining about the 20 dollar copay but taxpayers made sure she would be alive and healthy enough to even have a copay in her life!!!

"Serenity now..........!!!"

Great topic. thanks for starting it.............

I find this fascinating. I am also Self Pay to the tune of $17,000.

Makes me want to scream when I read about the person complaining about the 20 dollar copay but taxpayers made sure she would be alive and healthy enough to even have a copay in her life!!!

"Serenity now..........!!!"

I guess it is always easier to spend the money of someone else. When it comes to tax dollars it appears that it is a bottomless pit of money to be spent at the whim of ... anyone but the taxpayers.