As I type this I'm sitting in the hospital awaiting my EKG, ultra sound, and lab work for all the pre-op requisites needed for my surgery, wondering if I will ever get over the loathing I have for these places. Ever since watching my mom go through brain cancer, I cannot stand hospitals. The smell, the lights just everything about them represent the worst time of my life. This has to be, thus far, the worst part of this while thing.

I am hoping to replace the wrost time of my life with the time I took back control of it.

Fingers crossed..

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I am not comfortable in hospitals. I even get anxious at the doctors. I have started bringing an aroma therapy bottle with me (I use grapefruit but you should pick a smell that suits you). It will not erase all you went through with your mom but smells are the strongest trigger to emotions for me. I guess I am trying to replace the smells I hate with one I like. I am sorry about your mom...it is wonderful you are doing this for you and family.