Hi, I don't know if this is anything other people think about but here goes. How do you single gals out there deal with explaining scars and your new body to somebody new?? I used to be pretty confident before my epic weight gain and now I'm wondering if you choose to tell a new man in your life or if you lie??

I have no intention of jumping into anything for quite a while, but eventually would love to. I broke up with my ex about a 1.5 months ago when I had some other medical issues and he was unable to be supportive and turned out to definitely not be the person I thought he was.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Guys, I can't find my scars anymore. Not even two years out.

Y'all need to find something else to worry about.

I am also concerned about loose skin but don't know what it will look like yet as my surgery's not till June 7th. I suppose I'm just worried about telling the wrong person.

I've been pretty up front with everyone about why I'm having WLS. I just know that with my other medical problem I also had to have an operation and have scars from that too. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see. It's just so hard to know if someone will be supportive or not. I have a lot of information to get out before I even think about someone else seeing me naked lol and if I really like them I don't want to scare them away.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I remember before my surgery thinking how I didn't care what I looked like, I was going to love my body because I would be so much thinner. HAHA 7 months post-op and that's not the case. I used to love my breasts. Even though they hung down, they looked awesome in a bra and they were just great. Well not they are literally just flat sacks of skin (and i'm only 1/2 way through my weight loss!) So literally the one part of my body that made me feel sexy and that I loved, I am embarrassed by bcecause they don't even look that great in a good bra anymore.

Having said that though, I am finding other parts of my body that I am taking a second look at and going- hey that/those are pretty sexy, I like those! (Like the way my legs/thighs look in a skirt now for example).

I have been single for 3 years and am so ready to start dating again. I am feeling AMAZING after surgery already- I am still me, but i am a completely different person in a lot of ways as well.

I find a lot of men who are into me on dating sites because I work out- but I feel like they associate work out as a nice way of saying, "someone who is thin and always has been thin". I feel like it's misleading when someone just thinks I am super hot curvy girl- and then to see my without clothes on- the scars from surgery don't bother me, it's that I have a LOT of saggy skin. i mean it feels cold and kind of neat to touch- but how do you prepare someone for seeing that? Do you tell them RIGHT before you jump into bed? Do you tell them on a 3rd or 4th date? Do you never say anything? Do you put it out on the table before the first date?

LOL I probably didn't help did I?

Edited June 6, 201610 yr by ♥dreamable

dreamable" data-cite="dreamable" data-ipsquote-timestamp="1465224283">

I am also concerned about loose skin but don't know what it will look like yet as my surgery's not till June 7th. I suppose I'm just worried about telling the wrong person.

I've been pretty up front with everyone about why I'm having WLS. I just know that with my other medical problem I also had to have an operation and have scars from that too. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see. It's just so hard to know if someone will be supportive or not. I have a lot of information to get out before I even think about someone else seeing me naked lol and if I really like them I don't want to scare them away.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I remember before my surgery thinking how I didn't care what I looked like, I was going to love my body because I would be so much thinner. HAHA 7 months post-op and that's not the case. I used to love my breasts. Even though they hung down, they looked awesome in a bra and they were just great. Well not they are literally just flat sacks of skin (and i'm only 1/2 way through my weight loss!) So literally the one part of my body that made me feel sexy and that I loved, I am embarrassed by bcecause they don't even look that great in a good bra anymore.

Having said that though, I am finding other parts of my body that I am taking a second look at and going- hey that/those are pretty sexy, I like those! (Like the way my legs/thighs look in a skirt now for example).

I have been single for 3 years and am so ready to start dating again. I am feeling AMAZING after surgery already- I am still me, but i am a completely different person in a lot of ways as well.

I find a lot of men who are into me on dating sites because I work out- but I feel like they associate work out as a nice way of saying, "someone who is thin and always has been thin". I feel like it's misleading when someone just thinks I am super hot curvy girl- and then to see my without clothes on- the scars from surgery don't bother me, it's that I have a LOT of saggy skin. i mean it feels cold and kind of neat to touch- but how do you prepare someone for seeing that? Do you tell them RIGHT before you jump into bed? Do you tell them on a 3rd or 4th date? Do you never say anything? Do you put it out on the table before the first date?

LOL I probably didn't help did I?

I would love to see answers to your questions bcs I was asking it to myself too

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I say have some drinks and just get busy... Live in the moment and enjoy each situation as you go... Don't sweat the small stuff

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

Edited June 6, 201610 yr by nyteacher125

@@♥dreamable From a pre-surgery perspective - I didn't say "Hey - by the way - I am fatter than you might think and I look really bad naked" so I wouldn't mention the sagging skin post-surgery. I think if I was serious with someone - I would tell them about my surgery though (without mentioning the skin) when the time feels right. It's doubtful they will care about the sagging skin - and if they do - they are superficial DBs and you need to kick them to the curb anyway.

I actually just started seeing someone recently. We had a pool day yesterday and I was super nervous. I wear a tankini, but wear bikini bottoms. He didn't seem to mind, but it definitely crosses my mind a lot. I figure if he like me he will be okay with it, but time will tell.

@@♥dreamable From a pre-surgery perspective - I didn't say "Hey - by the way - I am fatter than you might think and I look really bad naked" so I wouldn't mention the sagging skin post-surgery. I think if I was serious with someone - I would tell them about my surgery though (without mentioning the skin) when the time feels right. It's doubtful they will care about the sagging skin - and if they do - they are superficial DBs and you need to kick them to the curb anyway.

That is a GREAT way to think about it. Thank you for that perspective!

If they are the right person and truly care for you then they will understand and support you regardless of a few battle scars!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App