I'm 8 months out and I've been maintaining for 3 months. I just returned to my summer home where most friends last saw me about 100 lbs heavier. My friends are fine and then there are the "so-called friends", who may or may not be so sincere.

Anyway, I thought it might be nice to have a thread of great one-liners we use to (politely) shut down unwanted comments and questions.

I'll start with:

Q: How did you loose the weight (I'm keeping my WLS private)?
A: I did exactly what my doctor told me to do...

Q: Seriously, did you excercise, cut out carbs, count calories?
A: Yes, have you had a serious discussion with YOUR DOCTOR about losing weight?
A: Have you ever tried doing exactly what they told you to do?

Q: Is that on your diet? (From a so-called friend peering over my plate as I try to eat my meal)
A: Well actually, my doctor thinks I've lost too much weight and wants me to add on a few pounds
A: What are you having to eat?

Q: You must have spent a fortune on new clothes?
A: Not so much, now that I'm a normal size, I can take advantage of sales.
A: I did enjoy donating my old clothes to charity...

Anyone else?

I'm working with a wonderful nutritionist and a personal trainer.

I find when people get too personal, turning it back on them shuts down the conversation. I can't think of any this early in the morning for weight loss, but when people would ask me when my husband and I were going to have children I would respond with "Did you have sex last night?" They would look at me shocked and I would remind them that was what they were asking me and it was none of their business.

What about eyeroll and ignore? the more information you give some people, the more they are going to ask. They don't really care they are being nosey.

I love your answers!

When I get intrusive comments in social settings, it's important to keep things pleasant for everyone's social comfort. Unless people are insulting or just won't shut up, I try to respond (with a big smile) in ways that turn the topic immediately to my improved health, e.g.,

Random Person A: "Wow, you're so skinny!"

Me: "Thank you. I'm healthier than I've been in decades. It feels great!"

Random Person B: "Wow, how much weight have you lost?"

Me: "A lot. And thank you. My doctor is so proud of me. I'm proud of myself, too."

Random Person C: "Wow, how did you lose all that weight?"

Me: "It was pretty radical -- I ate less and moved more. My doctor says I've added years to my life. Thanks for noticing."

Random Person D: "Are you OK? You've lost so much weight! I'm worried about you."

Me: (Laughing) "Don't be! My doctor thinks I look great, and so do I. I appreciate your support."

Random Person E: "Be careful you don't gain all that weight back."

Me: "Thank you. Being healthy is all about following a healthy lifestyle, and that's what I'm doing now."

Random Person F: "If you eat all that, you'll gain your weight back."

Me: "Thanks for your concern. My nutritionist says that eating in moderation is the key to weight control and good health. That's how I eat now."

Of course, if someone is socially clueless and causes a more awkward scene in a social setting, I'm willing to raise the Defcon level. But that requires you to use humor in a way that shuts the person down. Not ideal. But sometimes necessary.

I just smile and tell people flat out that I had WLS. I am so excited about the weight I have lost with this great tool that I want to share with everyone that asks. If they have a problem with my choice, so be it. It's my life and when all is said and done, it doesn't matter what they think. But if my experience can be helpful to even 1 other person, than I will continue to share. All of us here have said we wish we had done this years ago, so I think being upfront about WLS and sharing our experiences can give others the info and courage to take this step for themselves. I will not tell others that I did it by dieting, exercise and following Dr's orders. That route never worked for any of us here. I am not ashamed of my choice. It is just as valid a tool as dieting and exercise.

I am not to the point where someone might tell me I'm too skinny....but if that happens, I will smile again and say "thanks for your concern" and leave it at that. Their opinions and thoughts are theirs and I don't have to take them in.

Edited May 19, 201610 yr by cbrr

@@VSGAnn2014 - Defcon level is needed and I loved your answers esp D, E & F. I have had to give those as well

To the snarky ones, the Defcon level, "put your helmet on" status - per the comedian Ron White

@@cbrr - I get what you're saying, and I'd be honest with any obese person who asked me and answer any questions they had about it because I'd want to help if they were interested in WLS.

However, I think these comebacks are more intended for folks who've never had a weight problem and are intrusively curious about your weight loss. I hate questions like "Is that on your diet?" or comments like "Well, I know someone who lost 140 pounds through diet and exercise alone and SHE didn't need weight loss surgery." Fabulous. Come talk to me again in 5 years and we'll see who's still doing well with their weight loss.

I'm not going to divulge private information about myself to satisfy someone else's curiosity. However, I will happily explain the process to any obese person who asks because they're worried about their own weight and think they may benefit from hearing about my experience.

I just smile and tell people flat out that I had WLS. I am so excited about the weight I have lost with this great tool that I want to share with everyone that asks. If they have a problem with my choice, so be it. It's my life and when all is said and done, it doesn't matter what they think. But if my experience can be helpful to even 1 other person, than I will continue to share. All of us here have said we wish we had done this years ago, so I think being upfront about WLS and sharing our experiences can give others the info and courage to take this step for themselves. I will not tell others that I did it by dieting, exercise and following Dr's orders. That route never worked for any of us here. I am not ashamed of my choice. It is just as valid a tool as dieting and exercise.

I am not to the point where someone might tell me I'm too skinny....but if that happens, I will smile again and say "thanks for your concern" and leave it at that. Their opinions and thoughts are theirs and I don't have to take them in.

Good for you! I tell most people, too. But guess what? People are different, and some choose not to tell for various reasons and I respect that. I don't think they are ashamed about it at all. Cape Crooner gave some great answers to people's intrusive questions for people who don't want to disclose that they had WLS, and that's really what this thread is about. Let's not make it another of a million other threads about whether we are morally obligated to tell people we had WLS.

You do you.

I'm going to change some of your answers to mine in bold.

Q: How did you loose the weight (I'm keeping my WLS private)?
A: Changed my diet and I move my body a lot.

Q: Seriously, did you excercise, cut out carbs, count calories?
A: Yes.

Q: Is that on your diet?
A. Yes.

Q: You must have spent a fortune on new clothes?

A. Yes.

And my beloved VSGAnn's...

Random Person A: "Wow, you're so skinny!"

Me: Thanks!

Random Person B: "Wow, how much weight have you lost?"

Me: A lot.

Random Person C: "Wow, how did you lose all that weight?"

Me: Changed my diet and I move my body a lot.

Random Person D: "Are you OK? You've lost so much weight! I'm worried about you."

Me: I'm great! Thanks.

Random Person E: "Be careful you don't gain all that weight back."

Me: You, too!

Random Person F: "If you eat all that, you'll gain your weight back."

Me: Cool.

I'm short on words but that doesn't make me dishonest, nor do I feel the need to educate others:

@@cbrr - I get what you're saying, and I'd be honest with any obese person who asked me and answer any questions they had about it because I'd want to help if they were interested in WLS.

I'm 8 months out and I've been maintaining for 3 months. I just returned to my summer home where most friends last saw me about 100 lbs heavier. My friends are fine and then there are the "so-called friends", who may or may not be so sincere.

Anyway, I thought it might be nice to have a thread of great one-liners we use to (politely) shut down unwanted comments and questions.

I'll start with:

Q: How did you loose the weight (I'm keeping my WLS private)?

A: I did exactly what my doctor told me to do...

Q: Seriously, did you excercise, cut out carbs, count calories?

A: Yes, have you had a serious discussion with YOUR DOCTOR about losing weight?

A: Have you ever tried doing exactly what they told you to do?

Q: Is that on your diet? (From a so-called friend peering over my plate as I try to eat my meal)

A: Well actually, my doctor thinks I've lost too much weight and wants me to add on a few pounds

A: What are you having to eat?

Q: You must have spent a fortune on new clothes?

A: Not so much, now that I'm a normal size, I can take advantage of sales.

A: I did enjoy donating my old clothes to charity...

Anyone else?

I'm so glad I saw this post!!!! I had just signed up with this site when you were leaving for your summer place. I've been wondering how it was going.

Love the one liners.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm 8 months out and I've been maintaining for 3 months. I just returned to my summer home where most friends last saw me about 100 lbs heavier. My friends are fine and then there are the "so-called friends", who may or may not be so sincere.

Anyway, I thought it might be nice to have a thread of great one-liners we use to (politely) shut down unwanted comments and questions.

I'll start with:

Q: How did you loose the weight (I'm keeping my WLS private)?

A: I did exactly what my doctor told me to do...

Q: Seriously, did you excercise, cut out carbs, count calories?

A: Yes, have you had a serious discussion with YOUR DOCTOR about losing weight?

A: Have you ever tried doing exactly what they told you to do?

Q: Is that on your diet? (From a so-called friend peering over my plate as I try to eat my meal)

A: Well actually, my doctor thinks I've lost too much weight and wants me to add on a few pounds

A: What are you having to eat?

Q: You must have spent a fortune on new clothes?

A: Not so much, now that I'm a normal size, I can take advantage of sales.

A: I did enjoy donating my old clothes to charity...

Anyone else?

I'm so glad I saw this post!!!! I had just signed up with this site when you were leaving for your summer place. I've been wondering how it was going.

Love the one liners.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@Cape Crooner - BTW, good for you to be thinking of this in advance.

Winston Churchill had a running problem with Lady Astor and knew he would run into her again. She was a vocal alcohol opponent. So he worked on his best lines in advance. So sure enough, there was a party and Lady Astor LOUDLY proclaimed "Winston your DRUNK" to which he said "And you madam are ugly. However in the morning, I'll be sober." So good planning can be fun.

Q: How did you loose the weight (I'm keeping my WLS private)?
A: I did exactly what my doctor told me to do...

MINE (yesterday to a colleague): Extreme overall Sand blaster and routine persistent jackhammer to the thighs (it really wasn't any of her business, she is the watercooler reporter of the entire building)

Q: Is that on your diet? (From a so-called friend peering over my plate as I try to eat my meal)
A: Well actually, my doctor thinks I've lost too much weight and wants me to add on a few pounds
A: What are you having to eat?

MINE: Why of course, and I look fabulous eating it too, don't you think so?

Q: You must have spent a fortune on new clothes?
A: Not so much, now that I'm a normal size, I can take advantage of sales.
A: I did enjoy donating my old clothes to charity...

Mine: Baby I'm worth it. I spend my money on clothes not food now.

Anyone else?

Here's a few more:

How much have you lost?

MINE: Not yet enough, but I'm getting there.

Are you afraid of gaining it back?

MINE: Not as afraid as I am of driving in rush hour traffic...it's like running with the bulls out there.

I even got this one from a family member that "heard" I had surgery: Are you sure your mother approves of you having that surgery?

MINE: Well, considering I am a grown woman of the age of 46, I really stopped asking her approval on such things.

I even got this one from a family member that "heard" I had surgery: Are you sure your mother approves of you having that surgery?

MINE: Well, considering I am a grown woman of the age of 46, I really stopped asking her approval on such things.

Just guffawed out loud!

What a frickin' question!

So here is the one I've decided to use for "friends" who will blindly do anything a Kardashian (ugh hurt to type that) or Real Housewives of Wherever does.

Friend: O. M. G. You. Lost. Weight. HOW????? Tellmetellmetellmetellmetellme NOW. I don't care what it costs, where I have to go, what I have to do. What. Is. It. ???

Me: (Lean in real close, shift eyes, whisper) Ok I'm only going to tell YOU because we are friends. I've done some research on the web and found out how Kardashian/Housewife/Vapid Actress gets so thin for summer season. Ready???

Friend: (hyperventilating). Yes yes yes what?????

Me: It's a tape worm. I ordered it online. They shipped it on dry ice from the South American Rainforest. They have tribes that collect them. They compensate the tribes by giving them cellphones and stuff so it's totally cool. It's 100% organic, GMO free, and when it's done its job it's recyclable so won't harm the planet!!!! I'm telling you it's a miracle. I already have a solid connection and stars are on the wait list so if you want me to, you can give me cash and I will order you one.

Friend: (Ear piercing squeal) Here is my wallet!!!!!!

Me: (completely serious) You won't regret any of this. And I PROMISE not to tell anyone else.

Heh

I already know that I'm going to hell so I'm fine with this. I just wonder if the devil will allow me to bring a small fan and supply me with a neat-o pitchfork... ?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited May 21, 201610 yr by jaxmom

Okay, two new ones...

Q: How much did spend on the new wardrobe - it must have been a fortune.

A: Not really, I just had my old clothes taken in (with a screw you smile).

Q: What did you lose 25-30 pounds (I lost almost 100).

Old A: No, more than that ( which always led to - How much?

New A: Yeah, something like that (with another screw you smile).

I'm growing very irritated with the same people who won't leave it alone and are totally obsessed with making stupid comments!

Edited May 26, 201610 yr by Cape Crooner

Most of the questions I'm asked get a variation of one of these two responses:

1) Thanks! I feel great - now tell me about YOU. (and they always do!)

2) Why on earth would you ask that? (accompanied by eyebrow raise suggesting the questions in inappropriately invasive)